


I know a sad song

by Madrid



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-10-25 13:30:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10765212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madrid/pseuds/Madrid
Summary: "You only see what your eyes want to see... How can life be what you want it to be ? You're frozen when your heart's not open... You're so consumed with how much you get, you waste your time with hate and regret... You're broken when your heart's not open..." (Madonna, "Frozen")This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives.WARNING : mind the tags before reading this story. Don't proceed if you feel uncomfortable with the subject.English is not my mother tongue so please be indulgent.





	1. Across the sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Across the sky", by Madonna: https://youtu.be/-gmUw0DIzjQ

He can hear the distant murmur of his colleagues who’re laughing, joking and chatting joyfully. He can also smell that strange mixture of musk, sweat, natural body odor and urine that comes from the communal showers. He’s used to it and almost doesn’t pay attention to it. It’s part of his routine, of his everyday life. He looks around him and sees the same old tiles, the same cracked ceiling, the same worn out washstands he’s always known – or almost always. 

 

When he passed his exam and became a young graduate of Madrid Police Academy, five years ago, he didn’t know he would fit in so well and so quickly in his police precinct. He’s one of his cornerstones, now, and one of the most respected and admired police officers here. Some envy him but most of his co-workers are his friends and they all regard him as a hero or, at least, as a model. It’s sometimes hard to meet your workmates’ expectations and to live up to your reputation, but he knows he can rely on them to help him. He’s aware he would be nothing and nobody without them. That’s what police is about: solidarity, brotherhood, courage, team spirit, mutual aid, compliance with the rules, readiness for personal effort, surpassing yourself and embodying law and authority. He’s always observed those values and is proud of police traditions. He’s always been fond of hard training, masculine friendship and friendly competition. Plus he knows the police chief really likes him and he will retire within some months. He’s highly anticipated as his successor, although the line management has to decide on it in due form. His professional record is splendid, though, and he senses he will be soon enough the youngest police captain Madrid has ever know in its recent past.

 

He can hear that typical sound his urine makes as it falls into the urinal. He read once in a scientific magazine that all mammalian species spend twenty-one seconds more or less emptying their bladder. Yes, all of them, even the biggest ones. He was quite surprised, however, since it had always seemed to him it took him more than twenty-one seconds. That’s why he decided to time himself when he was home, just to find out for sure. It took him almost one minute, and he didn’t need to piss so badly. Such a result didn’t come as a surprise, though. When he was a teenager and his body started to grow and develop, he noticed he was stronger than his friends and he was hung like a horse. He liked to compare himself to his schoolmates since he knew he would always win their little “contests”. He understood later such a “gift from God” also had negative consequences for him.

 

He really loves his job. Law enforcement is his life now. When Pilar left him, he realized police was all he had left. He became a workaholic just to forget his sorrow and his pain. At least he tried to. When his working day was done, he went to a trendy bar, downtown, with his colleagues, and they got drunk until dawn. He came back home with great difficulty. He stumbled to his bedroom and, exhausted, he collapsed on the bed. He didn’t start to neglect his appearance for he’s always been keen on appealing to women. Deep down inside, however, he was devastated and didn’t believe in anything but his job. His workmates strove to cheer him up and he soon pretended to feel better because he didn’t want to worry them or to get on their nerves. He was lying to them, though, and to himself. He smiled at everybody, looked happy and almost worked himself to death. When his buddies couldn’t go for a drink, he went to that weights room near his apartment and worked out for hours. His bulging biceps, his impressive pecs, his strong legs and his washboard abs grew even more incredible. He added some new tattoos on his arms and his torso. After one year of total despair, he started to get back on his feet, although he was still weak inside. He broke up with Pilar two years ago, when he was twenty-eight, and he feels cured, now, but he thinks he’ll never be able to love anybody as he loved her. By the way, he’s never actually lived with a partner since that separation. He’s got some sex partners who usually were shallow sex bombs. That was just empty affairs. He just needed to let off steam and to bust a nut. He made sure they hadn’t his number since he didn’t want them to get back in touch with him. The less they knew about him, the better. Most of the time, he rejected them with little difficulty. Some of them tried to insist but they ended up being discouraged and giving up. He knows he’s unable to live as a couple with anybody.

 

He hasn’t spoken to Pilar since she left him. He quickly deleted her number from his phonebook (although he felt sorry about it later), threw all her stuff away and got rid of their common keepsakes, such as pictures, items or presents. He tried to erase her, to completely forget her, although it was impossible. He knew she wanted to break off all the ties with him and most of her friends did the same. He hardly knew them and that didn’t bother him. He had just made friends with Eva, a fine and sympathetic woman who didn’t understand why they had separated. She kept on speaking with him and she invited him for dinner so many times he soon lost count of it. Of course, when he was her guest, Pilar wasn’t there, and that was better like that. Anyway, he didn’t want to see her again and Eva didn’t wish to be the matchmaker. After some months, his mother, who really loved Pilar too, stopped talking about her. He knows she’s never understood why they had split up. He and Pilar went to his parents’ house several times and she immediately attracted goodwill from them. His mother and father could see how much they loved each other. He understands their disillusion. They wanted him to settle down, to get married, to have children and to start a family. For them, Pilar was like the perfect daughter-in-law. She was kind, loving, gentle, beautiful and smart. He also wanted to have children with her. He thought he had found the match made in heaven. Everything is not what it seems.

 

 

He scratches his beard and runs his hand through his hair. The powerful flow keeps on falling into the urinal. When he’s done, he shakes his dick and puts it back into his boxer shorts. He zippers his pants shut and fastens his belt. That’s when Karim enters the restroom. He’s one of his best friends here, at the police station. He’s cool, never gets worked up and enjoys drinking a lot and they often try to hit on pretty chicks when they go to a nice bar or to a nightclub. Along with his other closest workmates, Gareth and Gerard, they are the archetypes of macho men and they don’t understand what’s wrong with it. Karim comes from an Algerian family who moved into Madrid when he was a baby. He’s twenty-nine and joined the Madrid police at the same time as him and he used to be a womanizer. He now lives with a nice girl and seldom goes out alone, which is a pity. Karim is completely naked when he goes in. No member of the police precinct is particularly modest or prudish, here, in the locker rooms, and they all expose themselves in their birthday suits at every turn. None of them is gay or has ever felt attraction to men. Why would they feel threatened or in danger, so? They get undressed together when their working day is done, talk unashamedly about their fantasies or female conquests and have a shower together. Most of the time, they even take a leak together if they need to. Sergio is accustomed to such an atmosphere and would easily recognize the “scent” of the locker rooms. Plus he likes to compare his manhood to his colleagues’ crotch. He’s not gay at all but his “superiority” in this area has always reassured him and reinforced his manliness.

 

He heads to a washstand and Karim starts to relieve himself. He asks:  
“How do you do, Sergio?  
\- Fine, and you, Karim?  
\- Fine too. Any plan for tonight?  
\- Nope. I was due to have a drink with Gareth and Gerard at a new bar, downtown, but they feel tired and I think they’ve got a date.  
\- So you’re going to stay home?  
\- Seems like.  
\- Haven’t you got any stunner in your sights, Sergio?  
\- Not now. I’m exhausted, anyway, so I think I’ll just watch TV and fall asleep on the couch.  
\- Oh, poor you”, Karim says ironically.

 

When he’s done pissing, he also heads to a washstand and begins to wash his hands. 

“Tonight, I’ll bust a nut and you won’t, for a change! – he exclaims joyfully.  
\- Have a good time, Karim, because it won’t happen again, especially since you’re supposed to live with a girl and to be faithful!” – Sergio replies.

 

Karim winks at him and sneers. He rushes to the locker rooms. “That guy should really have a wash, he really stinks” – Sergio thinks. He smiles at himself in the mirror and goes back to the locker room. There, he tells Gareth and Gerard goodbye, grabs his backpack and heads to the exit. This is the main police precinct in Madrid and all the officers are due to wear a suit when they’re on duty. None of them really enjoy wearing it, though, and they change in the locker rooms. Sergio is, by far, the most elegant man in the unit and he always exudes virility, self-confidence and composure. That’s often a mask since he’s more unsure and stressed than he looks but he always succeeds in pulling the wool over his buddies’ eyes. He doesn’t live far from the police station, in a small but comfortable apartment in downtown Madrid. He likes to listen to the music when he walks in the streets. He often looks around him and marvels at the beauty of this city. He feels he’s lucky to live here, despite all his problems. 

 

Suddenly, he feels a vibration in his pocket. He straightaway understands someone’s calling him. He takes his mobile phone and realizes this is Eva. He answers:  
“Hi, Eva, how are you?  
\- Hi, Sergio! Really fine, and you?  
\- Fine too. What do you call me for?  
\- Well, I’m having a dinner at home, tonight, and I was thinking you might come and join us. If you’re free, of course…  
\- I am, Eva. But you say: “join US”. Who have you invited too?  
\- Just another friend of mine. His name’s Álvaro and he’s really, really cool and friendly. I bet you’ll like him.  
\- Ok. When do you want me to come by?  
\- Around nine, is that ok for you?  
\- It is. See ya.  
\- See you too.”

 

It’s half past seven. Sergio starts to run since he wants to have a little rest before he goes to Eva’s place.


	2. Whistle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Whistle", by Flo Rida : https://youtu.be/cSnkWzZ7ZAA

Eva is a true masterchef. She’s always been fond of cooking, above all for her friends and her next of kin. Her specialty is probably carrot cake and she loves baking pastries and pies. She could spend hours in her kitchen discovering new recipes, trying original blends and tasting delicious dishes. She’s a single woman and she almost got married once with a French airline pilot but she found out he was cheating on her with a stripper just two weeks before their wedding. She had to cancel the whole ceremony and she lost much money but she felt released and happier than ever. Since then, she’s been living alone in her condo in downtown Madrid, far from the spite of men, and she’s just slept with some male partners. 

 

 

She was once one of Pilar’s friends and confidantes but Sergio’s ex-girlfriend decided she didn’t want to have any involvement with her anymore. She has to admit their relationship had deteriorated a lot before that incident. They could barely speak to each other without arguing and they disagreed about everything. Pilar seemingly couldn’t stand that her best friend gave her opinion about her separation with Sergio. That attitude encouraged Eva to side with Sergio and such a decision brought their irrevocable quarrel forward. Deep down inside, Eva knows she doesn’t miss her ex-best friend. After all, she’s been heartless and ungrateful with her. When Pilar installed herself in Madrid, Eva helped her for almost everything and she even met Sergio thanks to her. Indeed, shortly after her move, Pilar felt depressed and Eva tried her best to raise her morale. One night, although she couldn’t go out herself, Eva talked Pilar into going to a new and fashionable nightclub that had just opened. She assured her it would be great and she would have fun. She also told she might meet a boyfriend there, and that’s just what occurred. That’s why Eva doesn’t want to hear talk of Pilar anymore and lives better without her. Today, she’s really glad to be Sergio’s friend and she wouldn’t swap her life for anything in the world. A few months ago, she adopted a kitten whose name is Holgazán, which means “lazy” in Spanish. It fits her like a glove since she always dozes somewhere in the kitchen, the dining room or in the bedroom, with a throw or a tablecloth to protect and hide her.

 

 

Eva met Álvaro, the new friend she also invited tonight, some months ago, when she was on her way to work. She works as a secretary in a dentist’s office, not far from her home, and always takes the subway to go to work. On that day, though, she decided she should take the bus and she sat next to a young man who seemed worried and miles away. She didn’t know what to do but she knew she had to talk to him and to find out what tormented him so much. Much to her surprise, she found the courage to take the floor and she was even more amazed when the young man answered. In fact, he wasn’t that demoralized and they ended up laughing a lot and speaking about their lives, their fears and their hopes. He gave her his number and she called him on the same day. She wasn’t trying to seduce him and he didn’t want to go out with her either. She quickly learned he was twenty-five, he came from a little town in Castile and he worked as a Spanish teacher in a high school. He had moved to Madrid when he had started to go to university but his parents had stayed in his hometown. She also learned he was gay and he was a single man. Eva’s not exactly a fag hag (in fact, Álvaro is her first gay friend) and the young man doesn’t look like your typical queer, but they really get along with each other. She already invited him for dinner twice and she thought it would be good for him to meet new friends and to talk with strangers. Álvaro is rather shy and never dares speak to anybody he doesn’t know.

 

 

She told him to come by around eight, since his working day ends at four o’clock on Thursdays. Plus that would enable him to be prepared to that new meeting. Right now, he’s helping her to lay the table and to finish the preparations. When it’s ten past nine, Sergio knocks on the door. When he got home, he decided to change and to put on smarter clothes. He’s wearing an elegant and modern suit with a tie, a jacket, his best pants and his most expensive Italian shoes. He also wears sunglasses, even if the weather is not so sunny. When he’s someone guest, he always wants to look elegant and desirable, above all when that someone is Eva. When he broke with Pilar, he once tried to hit on Eva but she quickly got him to understand she wasn’t interested, he was just striving to survive his separation and he didn’t actually like her. He didn’t agree, of course, and such a rejection was quite a blow for his pride. From then on, his seduction game has continued, even if it’s more an unconscious tradition than an intentional attempt to win her heart.

 

When she hears the telltale sound, Eva heads to the front door and opens it. She greets Sergio and grins at him. She’s always pleased to see him, despite his flaws and his somewhat cocksure behavior. She knows he could be the prototype of a macho man but he’s funny, he’s a good conversationalist and, deep down inside, he’s sensitive and open-minded. Sometimes, she describes him as the typical male chauvinist who enjoys soccer (which is true), beer (which is also true), whistling at pretty girls (he couldn’t say it’s a lie), porn flicks (which is far from untrue), bragging about his manliness (we all know he does), scratching his balls at every opportunity (he only does it when he’s sure he’s alone and no one’s watching him) and working out a lot (he often goes to the weights room, as you already know). That’s how she characterized him when she first talked about him to Álvaro. They laughed a lot when she caricatured him. Spare the rod and spoil the child.

 

“Hello, Eva. How are you?  
\- Hi, Sergio. I’m so happy you’re here. It’s always a pleasure to have you as a guest!  
\- It’s always a pleasure to be your guest, Eva. I’ve brought a bottle of wine for you and these flowers – he says as he’s offering a bunch of yellow roses to her.  
\- Oh, you’re so sweet, Sergio. Thank you so much. I’m going to put them straightaway in a vase. But first of all, let me introduce you Álvaro, the friend I’ve told you about.”

 

 

Sergio takes off his sunglasses and comes closer. As Eva closes the door behind them, he seems to be looking scornfully at Álvaro. She joins them and says with a grin on her face:  
“Álvaro, this is Sergio, who could be considered as my best friend. And Sergio, this is Álvaro. I met him a few months ago, on the bus.  
\- On the bus? – Sergio asks, skeptical. Didn’t you tell me once you always took the subway?  
\- I did but on that day, I don’t know why, I took the bus. I sat next to him and we started to chat. Since then, we’re good friends!  
\- Oh, really, you are? – Sergio tells in a patronizing way.  
\- Yes, of course. I leave you for a few seconds, I need to find a vase!”

 

 

Eva disappears into her bedroom, where she puts all her useless stuff away. Sergio and Álvaro can hear her grumbling and complaining about her carelessness that prevents her from finding what she looks for easily. Sergio’s used to being Eva’s guest and he’s not surprised anymore. What’s more, he knows her condo like the back of his hand and doesn’t bother to ask her if he can sit down on one of her easy chairs. He looks around him and doesn’t take the floor. He’s not timid, far from it. He just wants to gage Álvaro and to discover how he reacts. That’s how he always behaves with another man in such a situation. As for Álvaro, he’s really intimidated. Sergio must be 6.2’ whereas he’s just 5.7’. Moreover, Sergio looks truly beefy, frightening and arrogant. Álvaro doesn’t know what to do or say. He doesn’t dare sit down and just hopes that Eva will be back soon. 

 

He clears his throat and tries to engage conversation:  
“Eva told me you’re a cop.  
\- I’m a police officer. Don’t be mistaken – he replies harshly. And what do you do for a living?  
\- I’m a Spanish teacher in a high school, in the suburbs.  
\- Oh, I see.”

 

In Sergio’s universe, men who exercise intellectual professions are fags. He can be actually narrow-minded sometimes.

 

“And how old are you? – Sergio asks, inquisitive.  
\- I’m twenty-five, and you?  
\- Twenty-nine.”

 

Sergio examines the man he’s speaking to carefully. As a discerning and talented soon-to-be police captain, he knows he can draw many conclusions by observing somebody. Álvaro might not be sad but he has a dull face. He’s pale, slender and obviously weak. He has long and thin fingers; he could be a pianist. He strives desperately to turn his eyes and to run away from Sergio’s stare. He feels ill at ease and he ends up looking down. He’s quite smart too, but he wears skin-tight clothes that Sergio would never buy. He’s not completely sure but he senses that Álvaro’s gay or at least bisexual. That’s not only the appearance. There’s something strange and frail about him.

 

All of a sudden, Eva comes back from her bedroom, fills a crystal vase with water, puts the roses in it and says with a big grin on her face: “So, shall we have an aperitif?”


	3. Smooth operator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Smooth operator", by Sade : https://youtu.be/4TYv2PhG89A

Sergio doesn’t know why but he’s felt weird and somewhat awkward for the whole evening. When he began to chat with Eva and Álvaro, he immediately got sure: that young man is gay. He never spoke about it with his best friend but he’s never felt comfortable with gay people. He wouldn’t hurt them, he has nothing against them but he doesn’t consider them as “normal”. For him, men are meant to fuck women, not to be fucked. He often jokes about gay people when he goes out for a drink with Karim, Gareth and Gerard. Although he would never admit he has homophobic tendencies, he can’t understand how a man can find another man arousing. For him and his workmates, gay men are not real men. They’re somewhere, lost in an undefined zone between masculinity and femininity. They are, of course, clearly inferior to him. How could they even compare to him? Some years ago, he tried to watch a gay porn flick out of curiosity. Was it so bad? He didn’t choose the hardest one. It was just a man giving head to another. After only some seconds, however, Sergio felt sick and believed he was going to puke. That was really disgusting for him. A woman could blow a man, but why would a man wish to have a dick in his mouth? That was beyond understanding for him.

 

 

Sergio never talked with Eva about those topics. Eva, however, is almost sure her friend is a homophobe. After all, even if he’s not a nasty man, he’s immersed in a macho environment, since police isn’t famous for its open-mindedness and its tolerance towards gay people. His values are far from openness and acceptance of different people. He was been raised in a conservative Andalusian family and she knows Sergio’s model is his father, who’s a severe, somewhat violent and uncompromising man. He wanted his son to become a soldier or a policeman, because the army and the forces of law and order represent obedience, prestige, strength and manliness. That’s why Eva suspects Sergio, who’s a womanizer on top of that, isn’t really well-inclined towards homosexuality. The evening is taking place nicely, though, and they are chatting joyfully about everything and nothing.

 

 

Álvaro feels awkward, however. He manages to conceal his true feelings but Sergio appeals him and terrifies him at the same time. He has always felt a dreadful attraction to heterosexual men, above all to those men who truly act like straight and macho men, who seem overconfident and aggressive and who look brawny. They’ve always been his fantasy and that’s why he’s never dared approach a man who caught his eye. He was sure that man was straight and he would lose his temper and strike him. That’s also why Álvaro is still a virgin. He may be twenty-five but he’s never had sex with another man. He would never admit it if Eva asked him, but this is the sad truth. He often daydreams about a strong and potent man who comes and fucks him like a beast, but it’s just a fantasy and nothing more.

 

 

As to Sergio, he feels uncomfortable too. He’s been having a hard-on since he entered Eva’s condo and he’s upset. It’s really difficult for him to conceal his hard dick in his pants since his shaft is more than huge. Like all men, he measured it once, when he was twenty-four. He’s really proud of his hose, whose girth is impressive and whose size is incredible. It’s 5.9’’ when it’s soft and 10.6’’ when it’s at full mast. Such a crotch has some disadvantages, though. It often frightens women when they discover it and it’s almost impossible to hide, even when you’re fully dressed. Fortunately, Sergio’s sure Eva and Álvaro didn’t notice it and he’s now on his chair. The table can hide it. He doesn’t know why he’s so horny and he tries to think about depressing things just to calm down. He can’t, though, and he hopes they won’t see the huge bulge in his boxer shorts. There’s another problem: he’s always been a leaker and he’s aware that, if his dick keeps on “sweating”, there will be wet spots on his pants soon enough. “Why can’t I control myself?” – he exclaims inwardly. He’s not sure but he assumes that Eva’s outfit causes such a reaction. She’s wearing a sexy dress, indeed, which emphasizes her boobs and offers a great cleavage. Plus he knows she sometimes doesn’t wear panties when she’s home. That’s strange, though: he’s accustomed to fucking stunners and he knows he will never sleep with her. Your body can be incomprehensible, sometimes…

 

As they start eating dessert, Eva looks slowly at Sergio from head to foot and asks:  
“I must admit I’m really startled, Sergio. You’re wearing a suit. I mean, you’re always very smart, nobody could question it. But didn’t you tell me once you hated those suits you wear when you work?  
\- I do hate them, Eva. But that’s because they’re dark and too much classic. This one is more original and classy, don’t you think?  
\- You’re right.  
\- And you? Do you wear those sexy dresses when you’re at the office? – he says tongue-in-cheek.  
\- Of course not! – she laughs. That’s because I knew you would come” – she adds winking at him.

 

 

Sergio must be dreaming. Is she teasing him for real? He knows they’re still playing that stupid seduction game that’s not supposed to lead them anywhere but he suddenly has some doubts. His dick’s still hard and it begins to be painful. He tries to check if his pants aren’t too dirty now but it’s hard to remove your napkin and look carefully at your crotch when you’re not alone.

 

 

“Your charlotte is really tasty, Eva. Congratulations! – Álvaro exclaims.  
\- Thank you. I didn’t find redcurrants when I went to the greengrocer’s so I bought blueberries, but that’s not so bad, after all.  
\- It’s better than “not so bad” – Sergio replies.  
\- Well, I see you do like it, indeed – Eva answers. You’ve always been a great eater, though.  
\- You’re right.”

Eva thinks life is unfair, sometimes. She has to be very careful and to eat healthily if she doesn’t want to gain weight but Sergio can eat high-fat food, candies and hamburgers if he wants and he never gains a single pound. She remembers, however, he’s got a strenuous and demanding job and he works out a lot. She knows he likes pumping iron and doing push-ups. That explains why he’s so athletic.

 

 

“Where’s your cat, Eva? – Álvaro suddenly asks.  
\- The last time I saw her, she was sleeping sound on the blanket, in my bedroom. You know how she is…”

 

Sergio keeps on examining the young man in front of him. He hasn’t eaten a lot and he’s so pallid he sometimes looks sick or weakened. He’s got a soft and pleasant voice, speaks very well but he’s somewhat affected. It’s not really obvious but Sergio is actually a perceptive man. When they’re done with the dessert, Eva and Álvaro clear the table while Sergio lounges on his chair. He’s always considered household chores are for women (or for faggots, in a pinch). He burps noisily. He’s your typical macho man, indeed. When he’s sure they’re in the kitchen and can see him, he checks his crotch. His pants are wet, indeed. He touches the spot and smells his fingertips. This is clearly precum and not water. His pants are black but you can see they’re wet even if you don’t look them carefully. He’ll have to be discreet if he doesn’t want to be totally busted. His dick doesn’t seem to calm down and he knows he’ll have to do something. He’s aware Eva will never accept to sleep with him, that’s why he won’t waste is time in trying to seduce her once more. He’s got two options: he can come back home and jerk off in order to unwind; or he can go to a bar or a nightclub, hit on a sexy chick and fuck her relentlessly.  
Eva and Álvaro bring a bottle of champagne and pour the liquid in two flutes. Sergio’s already noticed Álvaro has been drinking only water during the dinner. He asks, intrigued:  
“Don’t you drink alcohol, Álvaro?  
\- Hem… No, never. I don’t like it.  
\- I see.”

 

 

Sergio wants to yell “Gay!”, but he restrains himself. He wouldn’t want to offend Eva or to act as a male chauvinist. It’s already too late for that but he doesn’t wish to be his own caricature. They keep on chatting and drinking champagne until midnight and, when the clock rings, Sergio stands up and says: “I’m sorry, I must go home now, I’m exhausted and I’m on duty tomorrow.” He rushes to the coat rack, in the hall, and puts his trench coat on. When he’s sure they haven’t seen the wet spot on his pants, he feels relieved and sighs. His attitude surprises Eva but she doesn’t say anything.  
“Oh, ok, I understand. I’m tired too and I suppose Álvaro must be exhausted. We all work tomorrow. He’ll sleep here, tonight.  
\- In your bed? – Sergio asks, incredulous.  
\- Of course, in my bed, Sergio. I haven’t got any guest room, you know! But don’t worry, I’m a big girl, I can fight back if he tries to rape me” – she answers.

 

Eva and Álvaro laugh out loud. “Ok, that bastard will see her naked or with just her undies on and he thinks he can mock me” – Sergio thinks. He’s boiling over but manages to remain calm. Eva notices that this joke hasn’t pleased him. “He can be so touchy, sometimes…” When he’s about to take his leave, Sergio suggests:  
“What if I invited you tomorrow evening?  
\- What if you invited us? For dinner, you mean?  
\- Yes, of course. If you’re available, of course.  
\- Why not, I have no plan for tomorrow, anyway. But I thought you hated cooking, Sergio? I mean, you’re always making a fool of me when I speak about my passion for food, recipes, etc. Plus you always eat ready meals!  
\- Hey, Eva, I’m a big boy, I can cook! – he answers ironically.  
\- Well, if Álvaro’s ok, why not!  
\- Yes… I mean, yes, I am” – Álvaro adds.

 

 

Sergio has almost forgotten he’s here. He’ll be forced to invite him too but he guesses he’ll be able to stand him some more hours. There’s something unusual about that boy. His way of speaking and his whole being seem fascinating. Sergio shakes his head and tells:  
“Well, so, you can come by tomorrow around nine.  
\- That’s ok" – Eva says with a big smile on her face.


	4. Don't be so shy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't be so shy", by Imany : https://youtu.be/5qs4yjP_VuA

When the alarm clock rings, Sergio wakes up and grunts like a bear. He’s exhausted and has got a headache. Last night, after that dinner at Eva’s, he went to a cool nightclub he knows in downtown Madrid. He was on the hunt for casual sex and quickly found a busty and blonde chick who seemed easy. They talked for a while and they finally went to Sergio’s house. They fucked all night long and, when he though he was done, he told her to go away. At first, she protested but she ended up obeying since Sergio swore they would go out together on the following week. He added he would contact her again, which was a blatant lie, of course. He didn’t have her number and he didn’t want to see her again. Plus he wished he could rest alone in his bed. 

 

He sits up, yawns and scratches his balls. That was a cool night but sex wasn’t so intense or extraordinary. As always, he had to convince that girl he wouldn’t hurt her with the anaconda he has between his legs. She was almost in a state of shock when she discovered the monster and, of course, she refused to blow him. Needless to say she would have never accepted to open her ass for him, so he contented himself with fucking her cunt. That was frustrating for him and, even if he fucked her like a beast, sex with her was sometimes boring or unoriginal.

 

 

He finally gets up and heads to the bathroom. He puts his suit in the laundry hamper and notices his boxer shorts and his pants are full of dried precum. “Thank goodness they didn’t see anything” – he whispers. His bladder’s full to capacity and he goes to the restroom. As he’s urinating, Sergio gazes at his cock. Everything’s big about it, not only his shaft but also his slightly hanging testicles and the beautiful head of his penis. He really tried to have children with Pilar. They had sex at the right time, when they were sure she ovulated. They tested some new methods but nothing worked. That’s why they decided to get seen by a sexologist and then by other specialists. She almost made him see an andrologist. At first, he refused, of course. He explained there was nothing wrong with him and he didn’t want another man to see or touch his sex. She threatened him to leave him if he didn’t make that effort, though, and he ended up accepting. He regrets such a decision, now. She left him anyway and he discovered something he feared. The physician began to ask him about his sexuality. That was somewhat embarrassing; it didn’t bother Sergio to boast about his sex achievements with his friends and workmates but talking about his sex life with a stranger and a doctor was much harder. Then, the physician told him to get naked. He didn’t want to but he remembered Pilar’s threat and he obeyed. Of course, the doctor wasn’t gay and wasn’t really interested in his crotch. He just had a medical point of view but that was actually awkward. The doctor measured the length and girth of his dick and the mass of his balls. He examined them thoroughly. Afterward, he told Sergio he should be subject to a battery of tests, including urine and sperm tests. That’s what he did. He pissed in a flask (which was, of course, too small) and he jerked off in a graduated cylinder (and he came all over the floor and the porn magazine he had been given). That was really awkward. When he came back to the andrologist’s consulting room, the doctor told him something he already knew: the measures of his crotch were far higher than average. His dick was really big and so were his balls. There was something more: his suffered from hyperspermia. His semen was white, thick and excessively plentiful. The same problem occurred with his piss: his bladder was bigger than average and his urine was really concentrated. At first, he didn’t see anything wrong with it. He was a stallion and that was all. Should he feel ashamed for it? That’s when the doctor said his semen was full of dead sperm cells. In a nutshell, he was infertile. That was more than a blow for his pride and virility. The physician began to give details of the other avenues he could explore if he really wanted to have a baby: he could adopt a child, although the waiting time was usually disheartening; he could resort to in vitro fertilization; he could also have recourse to a semen donor. “No way!” – he though immediately. He didn’t want Pilar to have another man’s semen in her womb. When he came back home on that fateful day, he didn’t tell Pilar the truth. He affirmed there was nothing wrong with his dick, as he’d said before. He’s now sure that this lie contributed to destroy their couple.

 

 

When he’s done pissing, he flushes the toilet and comes back to the bathroom. He really needs to have a soothing shower. Then, he dries himself, gets dressed and does his hair. He takes a quick look at his beard, that doesn’t need to be shaved or trimmed. He puts another of those dark suits in his backpack, grabs his keys, takes a banana in the kitchen and rushes out. After a ten minutes walk, he arrives at the police precinct and heads to the locker rooms. He can hear Karim and Gareth chatting noisily. He greets them and begins to change. Karim gets closer and says to tease him:  
“So, how was your boring evening? Did you jerk off?  
\- I didn’t need to, Karim.  
\- Why?  
\- I screwed with a stunner.  
\- Are you fucking kidding me?  
\- Nope, Karim. I was bored so I went to a nightclub, found a sex bomb and fucked her.  
\- You’re really an animal!” – Gareth shouts.

 

 

They all know Sergio’s not lying. He can fuck whomever he wants and they’re all a little bit jealous. They keep on talking about their latest conquests and Gareth, who’s the most talkative guy in the unit, enlarges on his date. They greet Cristiano, who has just arrived. He’s not part of their circle but sometimes goes out with them. He’s more reserved than them but he’s a muscled guy too. He joined the police station this year and they don’t know much about him. Once, he told them he was of Portuguese ancestry and he was thirty-two. He seldom speaks about himself and he usually listens to the others. When they all have changed, they head to their office.

 

 

Sergio’s working day is wearisome. He has to work with Gareth on a gloomy murder case and they question various potential witnesses. During lunchtime break, he suddenly remembers he invited Eva and Álvaro for dinner, last night. Eva was right: he never cooks and always eats ready meals or cold dishes. He can’t learn how to become a gourmet cook in just one day and he doesn’t want to make an idiot of himself. That’s why he decides to look for an affordable caterer for tonight. When he finds one, he calls the firm and orders a meal for three. Around six, when he’s about to go to the rest rooms, have a shower and leave the police station, the police captain summons him. He heads to his office.  
“Hello, Mr. Zidane.  
\- Hello, Sergio. Take a seat, that won’t be long.”

 

 

The police officer does what he’s told. When he’s just sat down, the police captain tells:  
“Well, as you may know, I’ll retire within six months and I must have a successor.  
\- I do know, indeed, captain.  
\- I can’t take a decision alone, of course, but I’d like you to succeed me. If you agree with me, naturally.  
\- Of course I do, sir. That would be an honor to work as the new police captain. You’ve done so much for this precinct.  
\- Well, in this case, I’ll support you when my superiors ask for my opinion. I’m sure your professional record will be determining, along with my favorable recommendation.  
\- Thank you very much, sir. When will your superiors call you in?  
\- Next week, I suppose.  
\- Well, thank you for those clarifications. May I take my leave, now?  
\- Of course, you can. I just wanted to tell you I’m proud of your job, Sergio.  
\- Thank you, sir. Have a nice evening.  
\- Have a nice evening too, Sergio.”

 

Sergio leaves his boss’s office happier than ever. This promotion is vital for him. It will give him more power, more responsibilities, more prestige and more money. And he does need that money. He wants to leave his current apartment and to settle in a new one. Of course, he wants a bigger condo and, first of all, he has to save some money. He rushes to the locker rooms, bumps into Gareth who’s taking a leak in the restroom and has a quick shower. He rushes outside and arrives home at twenty to seven. The caterer is due to deliver the food within twenty minutes. He pours some whisky in a glass. He loves drinking some strong alcohol when he comes back home. His regular doctor already told him it’s a bad habit but he can’t quit doing it. He throws some ice cubes into the glass and sips the liquor. He still has that awful headache and he doesn’t want to take a pill. All of a sudden, someone rings at the door. He picks the intercom up and opens the door for the caterer. He takes all the parcels, carefully listens to the advice that the deliveryman gives him and finally lets him go. He puts the dessert and the starters into the fridge. He’ll have to preheat the oven at 428°F but, for now, he just sits down on an easy chair and relaxes. He takes a deep breath. He has a bad feeling, as if something dreadful was going to happen tonight. He always wants to act as the rational and cool-headed guy but he’s often anxious and superstitious.  
Five minutes later, he stands up and heads to his bedroom. He changes again since he wants to really elegant. That’s almost an obsession. He puts on some men’s fragrance and choses a signet ring and a chain bracelet. He looks at himself in the mirror and thinks he seems awesome. He feels down, however. He’s positive that this dinner will be a disaster.

 

 

Much to his surprise, though, the evening is great and everybody seems satisfied with the dinner. They all indulge in small talk but Sergio keeps on analyzing that strange young boy. He seems so mysterious to him. He must keep a secret, there’s no other possibility. Eva has brought some lively red wine and she’s a little tipsy. Álvaro, who seems as shy as usual, doesn’t talk much. He’s still quiet and makes do with answering the questions and nodding when it’s necessary. Sergio would like him to confess a little more but, until then, he hasn’t learnt anything interesting. Apart from his age, his profession and his geographic origin, the police officer can’t get more information. What does he like? What does his apartment look like? Who are his parents? Why did he come to study here? The fact is that Sergio can hardly focus on those questions, though. Since Eva and Álvaro have arrived, he’s been more than horny and he can’t tell why. That’s unfathomable. Eva’s still alluring, of course, but her outfit is less sexy than the dress she wore yesterday and, tonight, she hasn’t made any equivocal allusion. Plus Sergio doesn’t recognize himself. Although he’s always been a womanizer, he knows he’s capable of keeping a grip on his own libido. He strives to forget about women and sex and to think of Álvaro and his mysteries but that only makes his dick harder. He knows he’ll have to conceal the stains on his pants once again.

 

 

When they begin to eat the dessert, Eva snickers: “Well, that was really delicious, Sergio. But I don’t buy your story: you didn’t prepare this meal yourself. You can admit it. I won’t reproach you for having ordered those dishes…” Sergio looks at her. He must acknowledge that was a poor idea. He should have said he had resorted to a caterer, that’s not shameful. He answers:  
“You’re right, Eva. I didn’t turn into a masterchef in just twenty-four hours. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.  
\- But you haven’t. This is really tasty and that was a smart idea.”

 

 

Sergio smiles. Eva’s always been sympathetic with him.


	5. Going down for real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Going down for real", by Flo-Rida : https://youtu.be/DkYvNFoBcgQ

Sergio couldn’t sleep a wink all night. He was baffled. He tossed and turned in his bed over and over. He strove to stop thinking but that was, of course, impossible. He remembered his past, his childhood, his relationship with his parents (especially with his father, who was always so strict and draconian with him), his teenage years, his leaving home, his years at the police academy, the graduation ceremony, his firs months at the police precinct, his first contact with the police captain, his first solved cases, his first high-speed chases with some drug traffickers and his “parties” at the bar with his workmates. He also remembered his first kiss with a girl, his first sexual intercourse and, of course, the couple he formed with Pilar. “What a waste” – he thought about it. He looked back over his shoulder and he had the feeling he had totally messed up his emotional and personal life. His professional life, on the contrary, was quite a success. Was it enough, though? He knew he had good prospects of succeeding Mr. Zidane but he didn’t know if it would really satisfy him and enable him to blossom. “My father will be proud of me” – he thought. But would that really count in his life? “I’m too obsessed with my father’s point of view”. He knew it more than ever. All his life, he had done what his father would approve of. He had led his life according to his father’s desires – and according to Pilar’s wishes. And tonight, he was alone in his bed, with nothing but regrets and broken dreams. He was hot and so horny he could have fucked for days. He had jerked off twice but his dick wasn’t willing to calm down. He had been forced to clean the floor twice since he had come buckets, as usual. That was weird. Usually, a couple of masturbations were enough to relieve him for a while if he couldn’t screw; but not that night. And all he could think of when he was stroking his rod was that dinner. He wasn’t thinking about Eva in particular; he wasn’t fantasizing about her. He was remembering the whole evening with Álvaro and her. Much to his surprise, those masturbations had been the best and the most pleasurable of his life.

 

 

He’s thinking about it all and about that sleepless night while he’s sipping his black coffee. He hates lattes or sweet coffee and can’t understand how people accept to drink it. He often says it’s a “faggot’s beverage”. Yes, you already know he’s your typical macho man. He’s got his morning woody and his dick gets really sore, now. He begins to wonder if he doesn’t suffer from priapism since he’s been steadily hard for hours. His anaconda deforms his boxer shorts. He looks at that impressive bulge under the fabric and smiles. Even if it’s somewhat painful right now, he finds his crotch so glorious. The problem is he has to piss right now. His bladder is more than full but that will be hard to shoot straight. He hates cleaning the apartment. When he was with Pilar, she did almost everything and he groused every time she asked him to do something, such as doing the washing or the dusting. That was a constant source of dispute between them. He now just does the bare minimum.  
As he’s going to the restroom, he notices something strange on the back of a chair, in the dining room. He gets closer and recognizes Álvaro’s scarf. It’s white and grey and the first time he saw it, Sergio thought it was ridiculous. He forgot it here last night. In a normal situation, Sergio would just wait for Eva and Álvaro to come back. After all, he doesn’t desperately need it, does he? But this is not a normal situation. Sergio can feel it in the air. He can’t tell why but there’s something weird around him. “Is my dick pumping all the blood of my brain?” – he asks tongue-in-cheek. 

 

He grabs his mobile phone. Should he warn Eva? He hesitates for a while but finally dials her number. He supposes she won’t answer and he’ll have to leave a message but she finally picks up her phone:  
“Hi, Sergio. How are you?  
\- Fine. I’m sorry to disturb you so early in the morning.  
\- I wasn’t sleeping anymore, don’t worry. Is there something wrong, Sergio? You sound concerned.  
\- No, there’s nothing wrong. It’s just that Álvaro forgot his scarf here last night.  
\- Do you want me to come by today? I’ll give it back to him later.”

 

 

Of course she will. Sergio doesn’t know why, though, but he feels he has to do it. That’s completely ludicrous. He takes a deep breath and replies:  
“No, don’t come out today. I’ll give it back to him. Can you give me his address?  
\- Really? I mean, you don’t have to do it. I know you always work on Saturdays.  
\- That doesn’t bother me, I swear, Eva. Just give me the address.  
\- Ok, let me find it. I wrote it down on a piece of paper.”

 

 

He can hear her rummaging through her stuff for a moment. She finally speaks again:  
“Ok, so he lives at 45, Bravo Murillo Street, on the third floor. His name’s written on the doorbell.  
\- Thank you really much, Eva.  
\- You’re welcome. Do you want me to warn him? He doesn’t go out so much but he may be away when you arrive.  
\- If you want. I have to leave you, I must get dressed and go to work.  
\- Ok, have a nice day!  
\- See ya.”

 

 

He quickly hangs up, smells his armpits and puts his smartest suit on. He grabs his backpack, puts the scarf inside, checks if he’s got everything with him and mentally repeats the address over and over in order to memorize it. He’ll take a leak at the police precinct. When he arrives, he runs into Gerard, who’s changing.

“Hey, dude, you’re really fuckable today! – he jokes.  
\- Thank you, but you’re not my type, Gerard!”

 

 

Both of them laugh out loud. Sergio quickly gets undressed and heads to the restroom. Gerard follows him. They both need to empty their bladder. Sergio opens the doors of his piss-slit and keeps on thinking about that scarf. He doesn’t notice Gerard next to him. Pissing together is usual for them and they don’t even pay heed to such a situation. What Sergio doesn’t know is that Gerard has always been jealous of him. Sergio has got everything: he’s tall, handsome, muscular, intelligent, elegant, popular, charismatic and talented. He will be the new police captain within a few months and he’ll earn much more money than now. Everybody likes him. Ok, he’s a single but he can fuck every single woman he wants. He’s sure they even would kiss his feet and beg him to nail them. And he knows how big his crotch is. Gerard is far from gay. He’s clearly a homophobe. But he’s seen Sergio’s horse dick and huge balls so many times and he knows any other man would have a real hang-up about his cock if he saw Sergio’s anaconda. Gerard is more than envious. For him, the size of his dick is a fundamental part of his manliness and he’s not really hung. He would even say his dick is too small. Plus he doesn’t know how his colleague can piss so much at one time. Everything seems to be disproportionate about his shaft. Sergio’s dick is now soft but it’s still impressive and menacing. Of course, Gerard has finished pissing much before Sergio but pretends to keep on relieving himself for he doesn’t want to seem ridiculous. That’s ludicrous, of course, but he’s sometimes so fed up with Sergio’s perfection he would anything just to look or act as powerful as him.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Today’s been a shitty day. People don’t know a policeman’s job mainly consists of filling in boring and complicated forms and of giving reports on everything you do. Of course, Sergio’s unit often has to shed full light on murder cases or to dismantle drug cartels and international mafias. But they seldom use their weapons and their profession doesn’t really look like what you can see in the movies. Sergio’s mentally exhausted but he knows he has to go to Álvaro’s apartment. He’s hard again and he didn’t take his usual shower at the police station because he didn’t want the guys to see him naked with that massive and hard anaconda between his legs. That would have been more than awkward – and, even if they all know he’s a womanizer, some might have misinterpreted it. He’s been trying to conceal the precum stains on his pants for the whole day but, fortunately, he could stay in his office most of the time and his civilian clothes are clean. He’s decided to take the subway (which he almost never does) and he arrives at his destination twenty minutes later. When he’s at the foot of the right building, he notices Eva’s texted him. She confirms she warned Álvaro this morning and he will be home, waiting for Sergio to bring back his scarf.

 

He rings at the front door and Álvaro answers with his soft voice. He opens the door and Sergio rushes upstairs. The door of his apartment is ajar. He knocks and the young man appears in the doorframe. “Hi, you can come in!” – he says with a big smile on his face. Sergio is hard again and he can’t explain it. It begins to be really strange and troubling. Why is his dick always erect? He knows he’ll have to leave quickly if he doesn’t ant Álvaro to see his horse cock dirtying his pants.

 

He now understands why Álvaro didn’t speak about his apartment: there’s not so much to say. It’s tiny and nondescript. The walls are white and spotless, the tiles on the floor are beige, there’s no real embellishment and the furniture is modest. Sergio can see an open-plan kitchen, a small living room (which is also a dining room) with a black couch, a round table with some chairs around it, a flat-screen TV, a sideboard and some foliage plants. There are three other doors that must lead to the bedroom, the bathroom and maybe a kind of closet. There are also scented candles everywhere, which strikes Sergio. The place is silent and somewhat cold, although you can notice somebody’s actually living here. It must be someone quiet, a little diffident, moderate, thrifty and who doesn’t want to make waves. Someone like Álvaro, in short. That silence is beginning to be embarrassing for Sergio, who tries to break the ice. 

 

He’s as insensitive and arrogant as always, though, even if he wants to act kindly:  
“I really need to drink something.  
\- Oh, I’m sorry, I’m neglecting my duties as a host! – Álvaro exclaims. What do you want?  
\- Do you have whisky or something like that?  
\- I’ve got a bottle of bourbon.  
\- That’ll do” – Sergio answers tersely.

 

 

As Álvaro serves his guest, Sergio tries to distract his attention from his pants. He’s painfully hard and his crotch must be wet right now. Álvaro adds some ice cubes and he says:  
“Excuse me if I don’t drink with you, I’m not really thirsty.  
\- That doesn’t matter.”

 

Sergio drinks his bourbon down in one go. Then, he remembers he didn’t take a shower when he was at the police precinct and he must smell sweaty. He tries to apologize:  
“I’m sorry, I went here just after my working day and I haven’t had a shower. I must be stinking.  
\- That doesn’t matter, don’t you worry about it.”

 

What Sergio doesn’t know is that Álvaro enjoys that manly body odor. He’s been fantasizing about Sergio since the very moment that Eva spoke about him and showed him a photo. As you already know, those macho men drive him mad but he’s striving to keep a cool head since he’s sure Sergio is straight and will never be interested in him. The police officer suddenly realizes he has to give that scarf back to Álvaro:  
“Oh, by the way, I’ve got your scarf in my backpack. Let me give it back to you.”

 

He opens the backpack, grabs the scarf and puts it on the table, in the dining room.

“Thank you very much – Álvaro answers – but you didn’t have to come here. I could’ve waited.  
\- Don’t mention it. I know you could’ve, but I did want to bring it back to your personally.  
\- You’re really kind.”

 

That last observation surprises Sergio. He has a high opinion of himself and is aware of his skills and qualities but nobody ever told him he’s “really kind”, including Pilar or Eva. He looks at Álvaro who immediately blushes and tries to avert his eyes. Sergio gets closer to him and asks:  
“Won’t you make me look around the property?  
\- Oh, if you want, of course, but there’s not much to see.”

 

 

Sergio feels he’s losing control over his mind and body. He doesn’t know why he wants to visit such a small apartment but a superior force is mastering him. Álvaro begins with the bathroom, which is tiny but pleasant, and then goes to his bedroom. “You’ll see, this is my favorite room here” – Álvaro tells. They enter the bedroom and Sergio discovers a nicely decorated place with a king-size bed, artificial flowers, another flat-screen TV on a piece of furniture, a kind of Voltaire chair and a little dressing room. There’s also, on the right, a bookcase with a hundred books. On the nightstand, he can see Álvaro’s mobile phone, a bedside lamp and some bookmarks.

 

“Well, this is it for today” – Álvaro tries to joke. He strives not to look at Sergio, since knows he will hurt himself. He knows he must admit that he will never have sex with him and the policeman will never love him but that’s really hard to fully understand right now. He doesn’t see Sergio getting closer. Álvaro is just staring out the window when he feels Sergio’s breath and smells his manly and arousing odor. He turns around and lets out a faint gasp. Sergio’s head seems about to explode. His dick is harder than ever and he doesn’t have a grip on himself anymore. He strokes Álvaro’s cheek without realizing what he’s doing. The young boy’s face is smooth and hairless. It’s also somewhat cold. He closes his eyes and begins to kiss him on the lips. They’re soft and delicious. They taste so sweet. Sergio and Álvaro begin to kiss slowly but their embrace gets increasingly passionate and strong. The police offer inserts his tongue in Álvaro’s mouth. The young boy starts to moan softly as Sergio fondles his hair and then his back. Sergio doesn’t realize he’s kissing another man. He goes into transports and he feels ecstatic. He has the impression he frenches somebody else for the first time in his life. His dick is so hard and oozes even more precum as before. As to Álvaro, he thinks he’s literally melting in Sergio’s arms. This is the most beautiful day of his life and he couldn’t dream about something better. He feels Sergio’s beard on his lips and cheeks and this is a glorious sensation. The odor of the policeman’s sweat surrounds him and fills him with rapture.

 

When he puts his hands on Sergio’s shoulders, though, the police officer’s expression changes dramatically. Sergio breaks the embrace and he realizes in the blink of an eye he was indeed kissing another man. What’s more: he was kissing him with passion and he was hornier than ever. He hasn’t touched Álvaro’s ass but he was about to do it. The young man doesn’t understand what’s happening but Sergio doesn’t allow him time to do it. The police officer seems suddenly both shocked and disgusted. He comes to the realization he was acting in a sexual way with another man and he wants to puke. Above all, though, he’s furious. There can be no doubt for him: Álvaro’s tried to trap him. He falls into a fit of rage and grabs Álvaro’s hair. The poor boy doesn’t understand why Sergio’s attitude is changing. The policeman puts his hands on his throat and presses it, as if he wanted to strangle Álvaro. “What… What are you doing?! Please, stop, I’m suffocating…” – Álvaro implores. Sergio doesn’t listen to him, though, and the young boy begins to cry as his face turns crimson.

 

“Do you really think you could trap me like that, you disgusting faggot?! – Sergio shouts uncontrollably.  
\- What… What are you saying?… Please, stop, I beg you…  
\- Do yo think you could kiss me? I’m no homo! – he yells like a beast.”

 

Then, Sergio releases Álvaro, who was about to pass out, and punches him in the face. Álvaro falls on the floor like a dislocated puppet as he hears a terrible crunch in his nose. Sergio is totally out of control. His face is red and he can’t hold back his feelings. He shouts: “Don’t ever do it again? Do I make myself clear, miserable sissy?” He doesn’t need an answer, though. He kicks Álvaro’s in the belly and slowly moves backwards. The young boy is bleeding on the floor and sobs. He can’t move. All of a sudden, Sergio calms down, realizes what he’s just done and rushes to the kitchen. He grabs his backpack and goes out without looking back.


	6. Unbreak my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Unbreak my heart", by Toni Braxton : https://youtu.be/p2Rch6WvPJE

Álvaro stays there, collapsed on the floor, for at least half an hour. His whole body is sore and he can hardly move his legs. He knows his nose is probably broken but his stomach aches too. There’s blood on the tiling but he doesn’t think he’s bleeding anymore. He eventually manages to pick himself up with great difficulty and strives to stagger to the bathroom. He feels dizzy and it’s as if his face had just blown up. When he finally arrives in front of his mirror, he sees an awful bruise in the middle of his face, just on his nose. He hopes he doesn’t have a cracked rib since he feels the pain in his stomach is now spreading to his chest. His thoughts are not coming together but he tries to collect them. What should he do? He heads to his bedroom again, falls on his bed and takes his mobile phone. He wants to call an ambulance but he hesitates for some seconds. How will he account for those injuries? He doesn’t want to tell the truth to the emergency doctor. He has to come up with a story. He’ll tell him he fell in his bathroom for that’s the most believable story he finds. He finally dials the emergency number and explains what has happened to the switchboard operator. When she’s got all the required information, she tells him the ambulance driver will be soon at his apartment with a doctor and two stretcher-bearers. He hangs up. 

 

He tries to stay awake. He doesn’t want to lose consciousness. Despite the growing pain in his body, he can think about what happened almost an hour ago. Why did Sergio react like that? Why did he become violent? What did Álvaro do wrong? The police officer was the one who wanted to visit his bedroom. He was the one who kissed him first. That’s beyond understanding. Little by little, Álvaro feels guilty. He’s the one to blame: he should have kept a cool head and been more careful. That was too good to be true. Sergio’s totally straight. He’s the archetype of straight and macho men. What did he expect? Did he really believe he would turn gay as if by magic? He doesn’t understand, however, why he decided to kiss him. Álvaro didn’t force him. Sergio was the one who got closer and thrust his tongue in Álvaro’s mouth, not the other way around. He feels weaker and weaker but fights off blackout. Some minutes later, he hears someone’s ringing at his door. He manages to get back on his feet, hobbles to the door and waits for the physician to come upstairs.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Sergio looks at himself in the mirror. He’s in shock. What should he do? How should he react? He doesn’t fully realize what he’s done. He still feels the sensation of Álvaro’s kiss and tongue in his mouth. And he also keeps on feeling Álvaro’s nose on his knuckles. He’s got mixed and violent thoughts. He doesn’t remember exactly the sequence in which things happened. He does remember, though, that bastard tried to french him and was touching his shoulders. On the one hand, Sergio feels revolted but, on the other hand, he’s aware that embrace felt like heaven. He wants to erase such a sensation from his brain but that’s almost impossible. How could he kiss another man? He’s always loathed gay men, hasn’t he? The first and only time he saw gay porn, he almost puked, didn’t he? For him, being gay is the worst possible dishonor in this world. It would mean losing his manliness and his dignity. If his father knew what he did, he would disown him. If his workmates knew he has thrust his tongue into Álvaro’s mouth, they would lose all the consideration they have for him and he would be an outcast. Nobody has to know what happened at Álvaro’s apartment. He has to keep this secret. It’s a life and death issue. Plus Álvaro was the one who lured him and kissed him, wasn’t he? Did that fucker truly believe such an affront would go unpunished? Sergio has a reputation to defend. He’s not a faggot. 

 

His heart rate goes up. He needs to calm down and think about something else. He heads to a closet where he attached a big metal bar. That’s where he does chin-ups when he doesn’t go to the weights room. He gets undressed and, with just his boxer shorts on, he begins to work out. He does at least two hundred chin-ups. When he feels exhausted, he removes his undies and goes to the bathroom. He has to take a soothing shower or he’s going to go crazy. He’s sweating buckets and his body reeks but he doesn’t pay attention to it. As he’s about to open the tap in the shower, he remembers what he saw. He remembers how Álvaro collapsed on the floor when he punched his face in. He remembers how his blood was flowing. He clearly remembers that awful sound when his fist hit Álvaro’s nose. He remembers how the young man was crying helplessly. He suddenly feels guilty. Did he really need to do it? He could have just rejected Álvaro and gone. Did the young boy deserve it? That’s less obvious, right now. Sergio’s aware he’s hotheaded and instinctive. He sometimes behaves in a disgraceful or excessive manner and regrets it later. He shakes his head and tries to put his mind at rest: that faggot deserved it. It doesn’t ring true, though.

 

Suddenly, his mobile phone rings. He heads to the living room, where he left it, and sees Eva’s calling him. Sergio shivers but answers:  
“Hi, Eva. What’s going on?  
\- Sergio… I’m sorry to bother you right now but…”

 

He can hear panicking and weeping.

“What’s wrong, Eva? Tell me!  
\- The ER’s just called me. Álvaro is at Quirón Hospital.  
\- At Quirón Hospital? But why?  
\- I don’t know exactly. They told me he’s wounded but he’s conscious. I think they explained to me he’s got a broken nose and a contusion on his stomach.  
\- But… What happened?  
\- I don’t know, Sergio. I’m so abashed and frightened. They told me he’s better right now but it’s hard to believe. I mean, they didn’t tell me anything else.  
\- Where are you?  
\- I’m on my way to the hospital, Sergio. They warned me because he gave them my number. I’m sorry to call you, you’re not responsible for anything but I needed to talk to someone. I’m so… frightened. I hope he’s not too bad.  
\- I hope so too, Eva.  
\- Apparently, they want me to take him home but I’ll take him with me to my condo. I can’t let him alone.  
\- I understand. Do… Do you want me to do anything for you?  
\- No, no, Sergio, thank you. That’s fine. I’ll text you later. Goodbye.  
\- See ya.”

 

Sergio hangs up. He can’t believe what he’s just heard. He feels really guilty right now. Should he go to the hospital? But Álvaro might tell Eva what happened. And he also might tell the police. He might lodge a complain. Sergio tries to keep cool. He begins to take a shower. He can’t think straight. What has he done? What has he done to that poor boy who wasn’t threatening him? Why has he hurt him? For the first time in a while, Sergio cries. But he doesn’t cry for himself. He doesn’t cry because he’s afraid of the consequences. He cries because he knows Álvaro’s face is sore. He cries because he knows Álvaro suffers unfairly. He cries because he did something wrong and he genuinely regrets it. He would do anything to travel back some hours and undo what he’s done.


	7. Far from any road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Far from any road", by The Handsome Family : https://youtu.be/Sp0BjFl-a1Y

He’s lying on his bed. He’s listless. He’s waiting for Eva’s message. He can’t think about anything but Álvaro. He only remembers his nice face, his sad smile, his slender body and his soft voice. As if he was here, in Sergio’s bedroom, in front of him. He’s consumed with sorrow and guilt. He thinks the ceiling’s going to fall apart on him. He can hardly breathe. He can hear Álvaro’s tears and irregular breathing. He can see that little blood pool on the floor. “Fuck!” – he grunts. He needs to piss. He gets out of bed and walks slowly towards the restroom. For a change, he doesn’t gaze proudly at his horse dick. He can’t do it. Disarray and sadness have the upper hand. He shakes his cock, puts it back in his undies and flushes the toilet. He looks around him, as if Álvaro was going to appear all of a sudden. 

 

He hears his phone ringing. He rushes to his bedroom. This is Eva. He answers:  
“Good evening, Eva. What’s up? – Sergio says with a lump in his throat.  
\- Well, Álvaro’s here. He’s not so bad but tired. I don’t know why, but… – she replies softly.  
\- But what?  
\- That’s ridiculous, I cried when I saw him with that bruise on his face. It’s not so big but… I don’t know, I felt so sad for him.  
\- I understand… But what happened?  
\- Well, he felt in his bathroom about one hour after you left. He’s lucky, that could’ve been so much worse for him… He’s also got a contusion on his stomach. Nothing serious but it’s quite painful.  
\- I’m really sorry for him – Sergio says with a strained voice.  
\- I know you do. I mean, you sound sincere and I know you’re a good person, despite your “macho man side”.  
\- Thank you, Eva…”

 

 

Sergio feels depressed and guilty. Álvaro hasn’t told the truth. Why? Anyway, the police officer doesn’t feel relieved. He knows he should if he acted “rationally” but he can’t. He’s not that selfish, after all. He’s really sad for Álvaro and wants to do something for him, but what?

 

“Sergio?  
\- Yeah, Eva?  
\- You were silent. That sounded strange.  
\- I’m sorry, I’m really concerned with Álvaro’s health.  
\- I know… Tell me, can you do me a favor?  
\- Of course, Eva. Tell me what you want.  
\- Because of that accident, I nearly forgot I had to see a friend of mine, tomorrow. She lives abroad, in Argentina, and she just makes a brief stopover in Madrid. She flies to Moscow. She’s really happy to see me and I must admit I am too, despite the circumstances. We’re due to see each other tomorrow between two and six. Our meeting will be cut short, of course, but I can’t stay just ten minutes with her and say goodbye.  
\- I understand, Eva.  
\- So, could you come by and take care of Álvaro? He’s exhausted so I’m not sure he’ll be awake when you’re here but, just in case… You know, if he needs something.  
\- Hem… Are you sure this is a good idea, Eva? I mean, he hardly knows me and I hardly know him.  
\- I know, Sergio, but that’s not a problem. Plus nobody I know can take care of him tomorrow. Please, say yes!”

 

That’s what Sergio dreaded. How could he say no to her? On the other hand, though, how could he take care of Álvaro after what he did? He would be like an arsonist firefighter who tries to extinguish a wildfire after causing it. He can’t decline, though. Eva’s not responsible for what he did. He has to face reality whatever the cost and the implication.

 

 

“I’m not on duty tomorrow. That’s ok.  
\- Oh, thank you so much, Sergio. I promise I won’t be away for too long. Plus there are beers in the fridge and whisky in the sideboard of the dining room.  
\- You know how to entice me! – Sergio tries to joke, although the heart isn’t in it.  
\- I do, indeed. Well, I must leave you. So, could you come by tomorrow at a quarter to two?  
\- I’ll be here.  
\- Thank you, Sergio. See you tomorrow.  
\- See ya.”

 

That’s horrible. Eva is so kind with him. She has even thought about the beverages he likes. Sergio’s aware he doesn’t deserve so much kindness. If she knew what really happened, Eva would hate him and she would be right. He deserves a punishment for what he did. But what punishment? He goes to bed again but he can’t nod off. He even can’t close his eyes. He can feel Álvaro’s pain in his stomach. He tries to imagine how the young boy must feel right now. He tries to plunge into his sadness and his fear. He strives to inflict the same suffering on himself. He strives to do penance. Sergio’s never been a Christian but he was raised in a catholic and pious family. He always went to Mass with his parents when he was young. Even if he doesn’t fully believe in God, he thinks there’s a superior being in heaven who rewards the righteous people and chastise the bad people. Even if nobody knows it, he’s rather superstitious. He always crosses himself when he feels in danger. He sees good and bad omens everywhere when he has to make a tough choice. Of course, he never said a word of it to anyone. He believes in spirits and, to a certain extent, in ghosts, at least when he feels blue.

 

He tries to fall asleep once again but that’s merely impossible. He has to exert himself, it may wear him out and maybe he could get to sleep after that. He does a hundred push-ups but that’s not enough, that’s why he decides to go to his usual weights room. It’s open twenty-four hours a day and that’s really quiet at night. He’s sweating a lot but that doesn’t matter: he will work out even more there and he’ll have a shower afterward. He quickly puts on a grey tank top that emphasizes his bulging biceps, his incredible pecs and his washboard abs. He also slips into grey sweatpants. It’s not really warm outside but the weights room isn’t far away from his apartment. He tries to forget Álvaro but that’s nearly impossible. He guesses he could think about something else while he works out but he knows he shouldn’t: he deserves to suffer for what he did. Sergio’s never been masochistic; however, he believes everyone has to pay for their mistakes.

 

He arrives at the fitness center ten minutes later. It’s somewhat windy in Madrid but he needs to cool off. As he thought, the sports complex is empty. He inserts his entry card in the reader, goes through the metal detector and heads to a treadmill. From there, he can contemplate the beauty of the capital by night. There’s a big bay window that overlooks the avenue and Sergio always enjoys that perspective. He spends almost all the night there. When he’s a little hungry, he goes to the vending machine and buys some protein bars. He also works out his legs and does some squats. Around six in the morning, as the sun begins to rise, he leaves the weights room and goes back home. He takes a soothing shower and finally can get some sleep.

 

He wakes up around noon. He’s really tired but he wants to eat something before going to Eva’s condo. He heads to the restroom to relieve his full bladder. Usually, he’s always hungry when he gets out of bed but he has knots in his stomach right now. He knows he has to eat something or he will suffer from hypoglycemia. He worked out a lot last night and he has to listen to his body. When he has relieved himself, he choses some elegant clothes, gets dressed and heats up some leftover food he has in his fridge. He can’t stop thinking about this afternoon. He’s aware the reunion with Álvaro won’t be particularly pleasant. It will be difficult and painful for him but above all for the young boy. He doesn’t know how to break the ice. “Hello, this is Sergio. You know, the man who broke your nose?” That sounds like a bad idea. He’s got a terrible headache and takes a pill. When he looks at himself in the mirror of his bathroom, he sees a guilty bully who doesn’t know how to seek forgiveness. He can’t stand that reflection but he has to live with it.

 

When it’s time to leave, he brushes his teeth, trims his beard and puts on his Italian shoes. He looks around him one last time, grabs his backpack and rushes outside. He’s got a strange sensation in his stomach. Something important is going to happen in his life but he doesn’t know if it will be positive or negative. People in the street seem to be in a hurry although it’s Sunday. A fine rain begins to fall as he arrives near Eva’s building. He rings at her door and takes a deep breath.


	8. Dark star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dark star", by Marina Kaye : https://youtu.be/KClUV04MIN4

Eva opens her door. When she sees Sergio, she grins at him and hugs him. She lets him in and says:  
“Thank you so much for coming, Sergio. I’ll repay you for your kindness, I swear.  
\- You don’t have to, Eva. I do it because I want to, because you’re my friend.  
\- Thank you anyway.”

 

 

She lets the door ajar and adds:  
“I think Álvaro is sleeping, now. He woke up at five in the morning and couldn’t sleep a wink. If you want and if you’re not exhausted, you can stay for dinner. I’m sure it’ll help him to realize he has a lot companionship.  
\- Ok, we’ll se, Eva.”

 

 

She pecks him on the cheek, takes her purse and says goodbye. When she’s downstairs, she sends him a message: “I’ll be back as soon as possible. Feel free to call me if there’s any problem.” 

 

He puts his mobile phone on the coffee table, in the living room, and heads to the fridge. He needs to drink a good beer. Eva knows what he really likes: she’s bought some bottles of stout for him. He looks for the bottle-opener, finds it in a drawer, opens the bottle and begins to sip the beer. He slumps on the couch and tries to be as silent as possible. He doesn’t want to wake up Álvaro. He’s meditating. How should he speak to him if he wakes up? What should he say and what should he do? He can’t find a satisfactory answer to those questions and decides to drink another beer. When he’s beginning to drink the third one, he hears a light sound in Eva’s living room. At first, he thinks the cat’s doing something silly or nasty but she’s just here, sleeping sound on an easy chair. It must be Álvaro. Is he awake? Has he just tossed and turned in his sleep? Sergio is disconcerted. He tries to listen attentively but he doesn’t here any other sound. As usual when he drinks a lot of stout, he needs to piss again. He stands up and heads silently to the restroom. When he’s done, he comes back to the couch and tries to think about something else. He can’t turn on the TV since it would bother Álvaro. He could listen to some music on his mobile phone but he forgot his earphones home. While he’s thinking, he can hear the same strange sound. He decides to stand up and to go to Eva’s bedroom, just in case. He’s not sure Álvaro’s woken up but he wants to check it. He tiptoes to the door and half-opens it.  
He can see Álvaro’s awake. He seems to be reading something on his mobile phone. It might be a message or an article on Internet. Sergio’s heart pounds wildly and he has a weird feeling in his stomach. That’s the second time in his life he has such a sensation. Only Pilar seemed so beautiful and desirable to him before. And, of course, it’s the first time he feels something like that for another man. Sergio can see his pretty hazel eyes, his soft and pleasant face, his beautiful hands, his slender body hidden under a sheet and his jet-black hair. He looks so handsome right now. Sergio’s dick is hard again but he couldn’t say he’s horny. He has mixed feelings: admiration, sadness, guilt and a sensation he couldn’t really describe. 

 

As he’s gazing at him, Álvaro notices his presence and tells softly:  
“Oh, you’re here. Eva told me you would come by…”

 

Sergio suddenly sees the bruise on his nose. He wants to cry but holds back his tears. He’s too proud to show any sign of weakness, at least now. He manages to answer:  
“I can leave if you want. I… I don’t want to disturb you.  
\- You don’t disturb me.”

What should Sergio add? He’s more than ill at ease. It’s as if the earth was about to swallow him. 

“Why didn’t you tell the truth, Álvaro? – Sergio asks, depressed.  
\- Because I didn’t want to. Because I didn’t want them to ask me a million questions. Fortunately, they didn’t see the blood in the bedroom.  
\- So… Eva told me your nose is broken…  
\- She always exaggerates everything. It’s painful but not really broken. I’m just wounded. The doctor said my nasal septum is slightly diverted.”

 

 

Álvaro answers as if there was nothing amiss, as if he really had had an accident, as if he had nothing to reproach Sergio. The police officer doesn’t know which way the wind is blowing. He’s more than confused. He tries to get closer slowly and discreetly. Álvaro stares at him and doesn’t say a word. When he’s next to Álvaro, he takes a chair and sits down.

“Why didn’t you tell the truth, Álvaro? – he asks desperately.  
\- You’ve already asked me this question…”

 

 

There’s no irritation in Álvaro’s voice, just despond and despair. Once again, Sergio is lost. He tries to act sincerely, for a change:  
“That may sound inadequate, and I know it’s clearly not enough. That may sound insincere, but it comes straight from the heart. If I could erase what I did to you, if I could change the past, I would do it. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I don’t what happened to me. I was like… possessed.  
\- You don’t have to be sorry. You don’t have to apologize. It’s my fault.”

Sergio’s taken aback. Álvaro sounds honest. He is, in fact. The policeman kneels down next to him.

“Why… Why do you say that, Álvaro?  
\- Because this is reality. You know…”

 

 

Álvaro starts to sob. Sergio would like to comfort him but he doesn’t dare. The young man might reject him.

“You know – Álvaro adds –, my mother used to say that the world’s a dangerous place, that I had to be careful. I thought she was just trying to lecture me. In fact, she was really annoying. But now, I know she was right. You know… The first time I saw you, I immediately fell in love. I’m aware it’ll seem stupid to you and you will be awkward, but that’s true. Everything about you drives me crazy… I wanted it so badly. I wanted you to love me too. When we started to kiss, that was so… intense. I knew it was too good to be true. I should’ve been more cautious. It’s my fault…”

 

Álvaro is now crying hard tears but he does it in silence, as always. He doesn’t dare to look at Sergio. He’s too afraid. He might find irony, hatred, aversion and violence in his eyes. In the end, he might find disappointment, bitterness, frustration and solitude. He knows those feelings by heart. Suddenly, though, Sergio asks:  
“May I touch your face? I’ll understand if you say no. I promise, though, I won’t hurt you. I swear it on my life.  
\- What do you want to do? – Álvaro replies, dumbstruck.  
\- I want to show you you’re wrong.”

Sergio puts his hands delicately on Álvaro’s cheeks. At first, the young man jumps in surprise and shivers. Paradoxically, Sergio’s hands – those same hands that hurt him so bad – are warm and comforting. Sergio begins to stroke Álvaro’s face. Any sign of resistance is now vanishing in Álvaro’s attitude. The police officer slowly brings his face closer to Álvaro’s face. The young man tries to sit up straight but he’s still too weak. He can feel Sergio’s masculine body odor and his soothing breath on him. Sergio puts his forehead against Álvaro’s forehead.

 

 

“What are you going to do? – the young man asks.  
\- I won’t hurt you, I promise.  
\- Please, stop it… – Álvaro answers in a soft voice. I don’t want to be deceived again.  
\- You won’t be, I swear.  
\- Please…” – he adds one last time.

 

 

Who is he trying to convince, however? Sergio closes his eyes and begins to kiss Álvaro’s lips gently. He notices once again they’re sweet and smooth, just like the rest of his face. He starts to thrust his tongue in the young man’s mouth and Álvaro offers no hearty resistance. Sergio has already conquered him, in fact. They begin to kiss passionately and, as their tongues melt together, Sergio can feel how his dick wakes up and grows hard again. Álvaro, who can’t conceal his feelings, starts to whine and squeal. The police officer strives not to touch Álvaro’s nose. He doesn’t want to hurt him again. Their kiss lasts for five minutes and, when it eventually stops, Sergio licks Álvaro’s tears away. His heart beats furiously and so does the young man’s heart. Álvaro’s catches his breath with great difficulty while Sergio partially removes his tee shirt. The young boy’s afraid but the policeman strokes his cheeks again, as he discovers the bruise on his stomach. He begins to kiss it softly, as if he could treat it like that. Álvaro doesn’t know how to react but he definitely loves it, just like Sergio. When he’s done, the police officer frenches Álvaro again. The latter feels his strong embrace, his virile kiss and his beard on his lips. Sergio knows he’s making out with another man. He knows that will have consequences. But, for once, during that brief moment, he doesn’t care about it.


	9. One of these mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "One of these mornings", by Moby : https://youtu.be/hqxbSggZ-vI

The wind blows hard as the sun comes down. Sergio doesn’t feel cold, though. The city seems peaceful this evening. He’s lost in his thoughts. He scratches his beard as he’s walking past a shopping mall. He decides to go the Retiro Park to turn things over in his head. He’s so engrossed he doesn’t really hear the leaves swishing in the trees and the birds chirping in their nests. He sits down on a bench and absent-mindedly looks at the joggers and the passersby. On the great pond, some people are punting. The shadows of statues and monuments are projected on the floor. Sometimes, he can hear a kid’s laughter or the recognizable sound of a bike. This is the perfect romantic place to meditate. 

 

 

Sergio sighs and remembers what happened. After kissing each other passionately, Álvaro and the police officer felt awkward. They both knew what they had done and what it meant. The young man straightaway blushed and explained he felt exhausted and needed to have a rest – which wasn’t untrue. Sergio found the strength to kiss him one more time. Álvaro didn’t fight back and moaned in a sexy way. Sergio’s shaft was so hard it could have exploded in his pants. He had been horny so many times before but that was the first time he was so excited. Anyone could have seen the huge bulge underneath his clothes. He tried to hide it, however, since he wasn’t sure of what he was doing. Álvaro quickly felt asleep and the policeman stayed there, in the bedroom, sat down on a chair. He was gazing at the young man, who was both vulnerable and desirable. He could hear his steady breathing. And he knew he had done something wrong. He needed to do it. He needed to kiss him and to comfort him. That was beyond his control. Although he felt awkward and uncomfortable, he knew he had done something right. Or was it wrong? Everything is chaotic in his head. He tries to clarify his thoughts but he can’t.

 

 

The sunset is beautiful and its splendor is impenetrable. Sergio’s reactions are unfathomable too for himself. All his life, he’s considered homosexuality isn’t normal. He’s always seen it as the expression of weakness and inferiority for a man. But he knows he kissed Álvaro twice and he liked it every time. The stir in his pants proves it too. The hard-ons Álvaro causes on him are so violent and strong he could rape him on the spot. Sergio can’t be gay. No, he can’t. That would be shameful for him. That would be the end of his life. He has to forget what happened. He has to forget Álvaro. After all, that was just a kiss. It was intense and pleasant but it was just a kiss. That’s not unforgettable. He knows he can do it. He’s stronger than that. He’s a true man. He’s a macho man. He has to live up to his reputation. He’s a police officer, he’s the next police captain, he’s a womanizer and he’s a force of nature. He’s not a sissy.

 

 

As he’s meditating, someone calls him. He answers:  
“Hi.  
\- Hello, Sergio, this is Gareth.  
\- Oh, how are you, Gareth?  
\- Fine, and you?  
\- Fine too. What’s up, dude?  
\- We’re going to a new nightclub, tonight, with Karim and Gerard. You wanna come with us?”

 

 

Sergio thinks for a while. He doesn’t know if he’s in tip-top condition to go out tonight. On the other hand, though, that might help him to forget Álvaro and that passionate embrace, at least for some hours.

“Ok, Gareth. Where do we meet?  
\- At ten o’clock at my apartment. We’ll have some beers, eat pizza and then, we’ll go to that nightclub.  
\- I’ll be there.  
\- Perfect! See you soon, Sergio.  
\- See ya.”

 

He takes a look at his watch. It’s already ten to seven. He has to come back home quickly if he wants to get ready. He might fuck a fine chick tonight. He hopes it will enable him to forget about Álvaro. The young boy will be unable to compete with a busty stunner.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Gareth’s apartment isn’t far from Sergio’s condo. It’s quite ordinary but he sometimes throws big parties and the police officer only has good memories there. When he arrives, Karim and Gerard are already drinking some beer and chatting noisily. Gareth greets Sergio, gives him a beer and tells:  
“They are in the living room. We were waiting for you. We’ve decided we’re gonna play videogames. You’re in?  
\- You bet!”

 

Sergio likes videogames, especially when he plays with his buddies. These are uncommon relaxing moments. Their unit is always under pressure, between violent gangs and tedious administrative forms and they barely have time to really talk to each other or to have fun together. He’s glad they’ve invited him, although they always do. A party without Sergio wouldn’t be an actual party. Everybody knows it at the police precinct. He’s become indispensable to the group cohesion. That’s another reason why Zinédine Zidane and the line management like him. He’s not only a good policeman, with all the vital skills for that job. He’s also a great leader and all the other police officers respect him and would follow him whatever their destination and destiny. This is not an overstatement: they have an unwavering faith in him and his discernment. None of them would phrase it like that and some of them are envious of him but, despite their pride and misgivings, they look up to him. Sergio’s fully aware of it. He never knows how to react. Should he be proud of it? Of course he is. But, on the other hand, he knows he’s not unerring and he doesn’t want to disappoint them. That would be terrible for himself and his self-esteem. 

 

He grabs the bottle of beer, thanks Gareth, takes a mouthful of the golden liquid and heads to the living room. Gerard and Karim shake his hand and they immediately begin to joke and chat joyfully. The conversation turns naturally to women and sex. This is one of their favorite topics of discussion and they can express their desires, fantasies and discontentment about them without being judged.

 

“So, isn’t there a sexy chick in your life, Sergio? – Gerard asks.  
\- In my life? It’s a mighty big word! But I can tell you those balls have many opportunities to empty! – he says as he seizes his crotch through the fabric to accentuate his words”

 

Of course, everybody laughs out loud. They all know he’s not really kidding, though, since he usually has many sexual intercourses every week. They play Pro Evolution Soccer for some hours and eat pizza. Around midnight, they go out and head to that new nightclub that tempts Gareth so much. The place is cool, indeed, and Sergio straightaway notices some sizzling hot women who wear alluring clothes. He’s been hard for some hours and thinks he will have some relieve if he has a good fuck with one of them. He orders some whisky at the bar and gets closer to a busty blonde he’s just seen. He distractedly looks at her and he immediately catches her eyes. She smiles at him and they begin to talk about this and that. They both know the subject doesn’t matter. After half an hour, she tells him she wants to go to the restroom, which is a clear signal. He follows her and they lock themselves in a toilet cubicle. She undresses quickly and he just opens his zipper. When she discovers the monster between his legs, she takes fright and says:  
“Well, ok, I’m not sure this will be possible.  
\- Come on, I’m sure it will fit. Plus you could lube it with your mouth…  
\- No, I can’t. I think this was a mistake.”

 

She starts to get dressed again, which annoys Sergio, of course. He tries to hold her back but she slaps him in the face and shouts:  
“Piss off, you bastard!  
\- Get lost, bitch! – he answers.”

 

Fortunately, nobody was in the restroom when they yelled. He grumbles and wonders: “What should I do?” He’s still really horny and quite frustrated right now. That’s always the same with those chicks: they pretend to be interested and, when he shows them his horse dick, they chicken out. Sometimes, he can talk them into opening their cunts for his hose. Some other times, they just reject him and he has to jerk off. He shuts himself again in the toilet cubicle and begins to masturbate. He tries to think about a stunner but he can only see Álvaro in his imagination. He strives to forget him but that’s impossible. He imagines he’s fucking his mouth and ends up cumming in a big grunt. His thick and sticky semen is everywhere on the floor, on the toilet bowl and on his hands. It’s really gooey and plentiful. He unlocks the door, looks around him and heads to a washstand. He quickly washes his hands and meditates. That was clearly the best handjob of his life and he was imagining Álvaro with him. This is not normal and not admissible. As soon as he thinks about him again, his dick wakes up in his boxer shorts. He hopes that stupid chick isn’t in the nightclub anymore; he doesn’t want to run into her. He knows Gareth and Gerard saw him when he headed with her to the restroom. He has to stay a little longer here if he wants the “story” to be credible. 

 

After half an hour, he finally goes back to the main room. Karim is dancing on the dance floor with a girl while Gareth and Gerard are chatting. He sits down near them.  
“Hey, Sergio. We saw you going to the restroom with that sex bomb – Gerard says.  
\- Yeah, I bust a nut. That was cool.  
\- I guess it was, indeed” – Gareth adds winking at him.

 

They talk and drink a lot but none of them manages to fuck a chick tonight. Of course, Gareth, Karim and Gerard don’t know that girl finally rejected Sergio. That’s how he keeps his legend alive.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When the alarm clocks rings, Sergio immediately feels he has a bad hangover. His headache is terrible and he’s also got a morning woody. He finally manages to get out of bed and heads to the restroom. His dick’s so hard (it’s almost in an upright position) he can’t empty his bladder, though. He grunts and starts to jerk off again. Álvaro immediately comes to his mind but helps him to bust a nut. He doesn’t want to think about him but can’t help remembering his delicious lips. “They would be even nicer around this huge shaft” – he whispers. He shakes his head and tries to forget what he’s just murmured. He actually said it, though. He wants to punch himself; that would be silly, however. He comes bucket one more time and then cleans the mess around the toilet bowl and on the floor. He empties his bladder and takes a quick shower. He choses some elegant clothes and eats cereal and fruit. When he’s ready, he gras his keys and goes out.


	10. Sexual healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sexual healing", by Marvin Gaye : https://youtu.be/rjlSiASsUIs

When he arrives at the police station, Sergio learns the police captain wants to see him as soon as possible. He quickly undresses in the locker room and goes to the restroom to take a piss. Gerard is already relieving his bladder and mechanically nods when he sees his workmate. 

 

After the never-ending urination, Sergio heads to the washstands. Gerard is washing his hands and says:  
“Do you know the boss wants to see us?  
\- I did know he wanted to see me.  
\- What could it be? – Gerard asks, worried.  
\- I fucking don’t know. We usually don’t work in the same team, do we?  
\- You’re right, Sergio. I don’t know.”

 

They go back to the locker room and put on their formal suit. Then, they head toward Mr. Zidane’s office, where he’s already waiting for them. Sergio knocks at the door and they can hear the police captain tell: “Come in”. They both enter the office. “Oh, here you are” – Zinédine Zidane says with a smile on his face. “You can sit down”. They obey as the captain is looking for a file in his desk. 

 

When he’s done, he looks at them and says:  
“Well, I told you to come here since I have a mission for you. Last week, a unit of the crime squad finally accepted to transfer here an important member of the Albanian mafia in Spain. You’ve been working on that organization for months now, since the robbery of Hernández Jewelry Store, in downtown Madrid, in January. However, the guys from the crime squad don’t want to carry the convict and told me we had to do it. They explained all their units were busy and that, if we really wanted him, we just had to go and pick him up. You know our relationship with the crime squad isn’t actually good and I think they overstep the mark but we truly need that guy here if we wish to get somewhere with this case. That’s why I need you to direct the unit that will carry him here.  
\- I don’t understand, boss – Sergio says, skeptical. I don’t mind working with Gerard, we get along well with each other, but we never work as a pair. Why don’t you ask Gareth to go with me?  
\- Or Karim to do so – Gerard adds.  
\- Everybody needs a change once in a while – the police captain answers. Plus I don’t think Gareth or Karim would do the trick for this mission. You have more experience than them.  
\- When will the transfer take place? – Sergio asks.  
\- Tomorrow morning. You’ll be allowed to select the guys who’ll come with you. And I’ll give you a day off after that. I think both of you deserve it since you’ve been really efficient on that case. Any other question?  
\- Any particular security measure? – Gerard says.  
\- Apart from the usual precautions, no. I want you to constantly keep a close eye on him, though. He screwed us several times before and I don’t want him to have any opportunity to get away. Do I make myself clear?  
\- Crystal-clear, Sir – Sergio replies.  
\- Well, in this case, I think everything has been said. You can go.”

 

The two cops leave the room and slowly head to their own office. They don’t say a word but are worried. They don’t like to work with any other officer but their usual partner. Of course, they trust one another but this is weird. Zinédine Zidane never separates them since he believes they’re more efficient when they really know the guy they’re working with everyday. 

 

When he arrives in his office, Sergio greets Gareth, who asks him:  
“So, why did the boss want to see you?  
\- Well, he’s tasked us with a particular mission.  
\- He could’ve told me to come to his office too – Gareth asked, puzzled and somewhat upset.  
\- When I say “us”, I’m talking about Gerard and me.  
\- Gerard?! Why the fuck do you have to work with him on a particular mission?  
\- I don’t know, Gareth. But that’s what the boss wants and you do know we can’t contradict him when he gives an order.  
\- I suppose so but you could’ve said you’d rather work with me – Gareth answers, obviously annoyed.  
\- That’s what I’ve done, Gareth. But he had already made his decision.  
\- Oh, I see…”

 

Sergio doesn’t answer but he hates when Gareth reacts like that. He doesn’t behave like a true man but like a jealous chick. Even if he enjoys working with him and he thinks Gareth’s a great professional, they’re not married. Anyway, Sergio can’t do anything against the captain’s decision. Contesting it would be dangerous for his future promotion and he doesn’t want to contest it. He believes in the values of police; obedience and respect for your superiors are two of these important values. Mr. Zidane has always highlighted his efficiency and his good sense and he doesn’t want to disappoint him, especially now, when he’s about to become the police chief. Sergio’s concerned, though. Gerard is a friendly man and he can work with him. Nevertheless, he’s always noticed a hint of mistrust and aggressiveness in him. He’s got the feeling that Gerard always wants to compare their achievements and skills. He’s not sure about it but he feels so much envy in him, as if he was frustrated and saw Sergio as an unwanted rival. 

 

In the past, he repeatedly noticed Gerard was looking at him in the shower. He didn’t check him out in a sexual way, of course, and Sergio understood he wasn’t truly admiring him. He was just jealous of his body and of his crotch. That was crystal-clear. Gerard’s not an ugly guy. He’s quite handsome and, although he’s not as tall and muscular as Sergio, he’s good-looking. Sergio’s body and cock, though, are an affront for him. It seems he can’t tolerate the fact that one of his workmates is blessed with such a physique. Most of the time, Gerard talks to him normally, doesn’t utter derogatory remarks and can be a pleasant fellow drinker. He knows his job and abides by the rules. Sometimes, however, above all when they’re alone or when they’re in the locker rooms, he acts in a strange way, as if he wanted to be the top dog whereas he knows for a fact that there’s only one top dog at the police precinct: Sergio. The police officer is truly keen on competition and never chickens out when he has to prove he’s the strongest and the smartest man around. There’s some perversity in Gerard’s way of challenging him, though. It’s not a mere game. There’s something more, something he can’t really guess.

 

All of a sudden, Sergio’s mobile phone rings. He checks it. Eva’s calling him and he quickly answers:  
“Hi, Eva. How are you?  
\- Worried. I hope I don’t disturb you.  
\- Of course not. What’s going on?  
\- Well, this is Álvaro…”

 

As soon as Eva pronounces his name, Sergio’s heart begins to beat furiously. He loses all control over himself.  
“Did something happen to him? How is he? – he asks, really concerned.  
\- You know, I wanted him to stay home for a while. I would have taken good care of him. I wanted him to get better before he could go back home. But this morning, when I brought him his breakfast, he was awake and he was packing his bags. He told me he wanted to go back to his apartment and, even if I tried to convince him, he didn’t listen to me…  
\- So he’s home?  
\- I assume he is – Eva answers. I really tried to prevent him from leaving, I thought he wasn’t in good conditions – and he wasn’t! But I couldn’t chain him up to the bed…  
\- Don’t be so harsh with yourself, Eva…  
\- I really care for him, Sergio. What if he didn’t feel good?  
\- Have you called him yet?  
\- Yes, but he didn’t answer…  
\- He might be sleeping.”

 

Sergio tries to reassure Eva. He doesn’t want her to worry so much, she’s his best friend. He doesn’t manage to convince himself, though. Eva’s right: what if he didn’t feel good? And what if he had had another accident? Sergio’s heart is about to explode.

 

“Maybe, Sergio. But I’m truly concerned. That’s why I’m calling you.  
\- What can I do for you?”

He wants to say “What can I do for him?” but he finally holds himself back.

 

 

“I wanted to go to his apartment during the lunch break but I’m stuck here, at the office. Could you go and see if everything’s alright?  
\- Of course I can, Eva! I’ll check if everything’s ok around noon.  
\- Thank you, Sergio. Thank you so much! You know, I was so happy and relieved, last night. Álvaro was blissful when I came back home. You really did good to him. I’m sure he will be happy if you pay him a visit.  
\- I’m not so sure – Sergio lies –, but at least I can try.  
\- Thank you again, Sergio. Please let me know how he is when you leave him, ok?  
\- Of course, Eva.  
\- Take care of you, Sergio.  
\- See ya.”

 

 

That’s exactly what he wanted and didn’t want to do at the same time. He dreaded that moment when he would be forced to see Álvaro again. He knows this will be a torture for both of them, especially for himself, since he’s not gay. At least he doesn’t want to be gay. At the same time, this will be a delight and he knows it.

 

 

“So it was Eva? – Gareth asks like an idiot.  
\- Yeah.  
\- Is there any problem? You seem preoccupied.  
\- Nothing serious – Sergio lies again. But I won’t be able to have lunch with you today.  
\- Don’t you worry, Sergio. Fix the problems you have before.”

 

 

Gareth may be a moron sometimes but he’s sympathetic and benevolent with Sergio and that’s why the police officer likes him so much. He’s not really focused on him, however. He can’t help thinking about Álvaro right now. How is he? Has he got any problem? How does he feel? Sergio tries to struggle against his feelings but it’s getting more and more difficult for him. When he was with Pilar, he often worried about her too, at least during the first months, but what he feels now is stronger and more harrowing than what he felt for her – and than what he has ever felt for anybody. It’s almost tearing him apart but he strives to look as normal and self-confident as usual. Time begins to go by slowly. The hands of his watch and of the clock on the wall, just above the office door, seem to stand still, as if the universe wanted to prevent Sergio from meeting Álvaro. Gareth’s focused on his forms and doesn’t pay attention to his workmate.

 

 

When it’s eventually noon, the police officer grabs his trench coat, says goodbye to Gareth and rushes outside. It takes him scarcely ten minutes to arrive in front of Álvaro’s building. Luckily, somebody’s going out and Sergio takes advantage of the situation to enter. He climbs the stairs and he’s now in front of Álvaro’s apartment. He takes a deep breath and knocks at the door. He waits for some seconds but nobody answers. He knocks again, louder this time. No answer. Álvaro may be sleeping, but Sergio wants to be sure. He knocks for the third time. He hears no sound inside. Is Álvaro home? It’s unlikely he’s away. He was really exhausted and weak yesterday. He can’t be at school, he would be unable to teach his pupils anything. 

 

 

Sergio knocks again and says: “Álvaro, are you here?” After some seconds, he can hear some keys clinking. The door opens partially.  
“Oh, it’s you. Excuse me, I was sleeping sound and I thought those sounds came from my dream.”

 

Álvaro removes the small chain that keeps the door ajar and Sergio enters. The bruise on his face still looks bad, although it seems to have improved. The young boy locks the door and looks at Sergio. Both of them feel somewhat awkward. Álvaro doesn’t want to believe what happened yesterday was true or made to last. Sergio would like to forget it but he knows that, at this stage, he can’t do it. 

 

 

“Why are you here? – Álvaro asks innocently.  
\- Eva told me you had decided to go back to your apartment despite her advice.  
\- Yes, I wanted to be home. I needed to rest and I don’t want to be a drag for anybody.  
\- It’s a reckless decision. Plus you’re not a drag for Eva.”

 

 

Sergio isn’t lecturing Álvaro. He sincerely worries for him.

“I know, Sergio. It’s just that… I needed to be here. Plus I wanted to call the director of the high school to signal him I wouldn’t be able to work for two weeks. He has to find a substitute.  
\- You could’ve done it at Eva’s apartment.  
\- You may be right, Sergio… Do you want something to drink?”

 

 

The situation is embarrassing and distressing. It reminds them what happened the first time Sergio came here. The policeman tries to act as if there was nothing amiss.

“No, thank you. I’m on duty.  
\- Oh, excuse me, I nearly forgot it.”

Once again, that awkward silence. The policeman knows he has to fill it with something or he will reach the point of no return.

“You should give me your number.  
\- Why? – Álvaro asks naively.  
\- Just in case, you know.  
\- As you wish.”

 

 

When they’re done exchanging their phone numbers, Sergio keeps silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s aware he’d be able to do something irreparable, something that couldn’t be undone, something he might regret afterward, something that could entail incalculable consequences. “I’d better leave” – he says inwardly. But he’s unable to tell Álvaro goodbye. The young boy is like a magnet for him. Sergio imperceptibly gets closer to him. Álvaro doesn’t know how to react; he shivers and tries to keep cool. Sergio is now so close he can feel his breath on his face.

 

“What are you going to do? – the young man asks with a soft and enigmatic voice.  
\- Something I have to do” – Sergio answers, totally enthralled by Álvaro’s wan beauty.

 

 

His hazel eyes express something profound and intense. The police officer finally closes his own eyes and starts kissing Álvaro passionately. The young boy doesn’t protest or resist. Sergio puts his hands on his hips as their tongues are meeting. Álvaro strokes Sergio’s beard and puts another hand on his broad shoulders. They keep on kissing for fifteen minutes and then, Álvaro kneels down. He may be a virgin but he’s not naïve and has watched a lot of porn flicks. He knows what he wants and he knows what he has to do. He wants to please Sergio with his mouth. He gazes at Sergio and slowly unfastens his belt. The policeman is so hard it’s almost painful. His throbbing cock is dirtying his boxer shorts and his pants. When the belt is unfastened, he opens his zipper. He doesn’t hurry. He wants to remember that moment forever. As to Sergio, he feels paralyzed. His libido now drives him. He hasn’t asked for anything, he hasn’t demanded anything. He understands Álvaro does it because he wants to do it, because that’s what he craves. That makes a huge difference with all the chicks he has fucked until now, including Pilar. 

 

 

When he sees the disproportionate bulge through the fabric, Álvaro exclaims: “What the fuck!...” Sergio’s dick is so big it’s deforming his underwear. There’s a clear and huge wet spot where he can make out the tip of his shaft. He has seen some big dicks in his favorite porn movies but Sergio’s prick seems to be bigger than anything he saw before. He doesn’t feel frightened, though. The police officer can see how his eyes glisten. Álvaro’s not afraid, he’s more than excited and attracted. He begins to lick his hose through the fabric and then nibbles it gently. Sergio’s breathing gets erratic. Two chicks accepted to suck him off before and that was disappointing; they didn’t do it with good grace and that didn’t last long. The size and girth of his cock, plus the fact he’s a leaker, terrified them. Needless to say they would have never accepted to swallow his semen.

 

 

Álvaro is now tasting his precum on the fabric. It’s somewhat salty and thick. That’s the first time he has precum on his tongue and that’s really delicious. He constantly maintains eye contact with Sergio, which turns him on even more. The police officer grabs Álvaro’s hair and exclaims: “Fuck, your tongue feels so good on my dick!…” He keeps on playing with his rod for more than ten minutes. The pressure increases and Sergio finally whispers: “I want you to suck it for real. Stop toying with it or I’m going to cream my boxer shorts…” 

 

Álvaro expected nothing less and slowly removes Sergio’s underwear. His huge crotch suddenly pops and Álvaro just can shout: “Wow!” It’s an impressive cut cock. It’s thick, long with trimmed pubes and two big balls that hang slightly underneath. The young boy has never seen something bigger. It must be 9.8’’ at least. Whatever you consider, Sergio’s actually potent and manly. Álvaro keeps on looking at him and begins to lick his piss slit. There’s so much precum on his glans. It looks like real cum: it’s thick, gooey, whitish, salty and delectable. It spreads all over Álvaro’s tongue and quickly runs to his throat. The young man keeps on playing with that big mushroom and starts licking the rest of that glorious shaft. He can hear Sergio is panting. Nobody has ever worshipped his dick like Álvaro. He doesn’t like what he’s doing: he loves it, he enjoys it, he wants to have his huge cock in his mouth. Álvaro doesn’t touch it, he doesn’t jerk Sergio off, he just licks it. He wants to makes the most of it. Then, he begins to lick Sergio’s huge balls. They look sublime. His shaft brushes Álvaro’s cheek and his precum keeps on dripping on his beautiful face.  
“Oh fuck, yeah, do my balls… – Sergio whispers. Lick my huge balls. You like it, don’t you?”

 

Álvaro doesn’t answer but those words arouse him. He likes those dominant and verbal tops. Fifteen minutes later, when Álvaro’s face is drenched in precum and Sergio’s testicles are wet, the policeman murmurs:  
“Suck me off for real… I know you want it so bad…  
\- Oh fuck, I want it…”

 

Álvaro’s a little hesitant. He has never sucked anybody off and Sergio’s prick is really enormous. He maintains eye contact and puts the tip of his shaft in mouth. Once again, he tastes that mouthwatering precum that runs on his tongue. Immediately, Sergio grabs Álvaro’s hair. He tries to think for a while. He knows the young man is still bruised and he doesn’t want to hurt him more. On the other hand, he’s so excited that his dick has taken control. Plus he doesn’t want to suffocate him. That’s why he’ll avoid deepthroating him, at least for now. He just thrusts his hose gently down his mouth. He can hear Álvaro is softly squealing and that sound makes him even harder. His mouth is so hot, wet and smooth. Álvaro is fully focused on Sergio’s pleasure and the police officer can see it in his eyes. He finds his pleasure in satisfying that dick. He completely leaves himself out and just thinks about Sergio and his desirable crotch. He can smell that manly odor and that turns him on a lot. He can hear Sergio’s macho comments and encouragements, which excites him a lot too. Little does he know that the policeman has never been so verbal and expressive with a sex partner. Usually, he just lets out a big grunt when he comes and some unintelligible snorts before. 

 

 

With his horse dick in Álvaro’s mouth, however, he needs to demonstrate his feelings and his pleasure. Nobody has really sucked him off like that and that’s his greatest sexual experience so far. He thinks the young man is skilled and trained; he doesn’t know Álvaro is a virgin but also a natural. He knows how to watch his teeth and, although he’s a little surprised at first and thinks he will drown in precum, he ends up adjusting and blowing Sergio’s dick like a champion. He does his best to stimulate his senses and, judging by the police officer’s remarks, he understands he goes in the right direction. He keeps on blowing for three quarters of an hour. In the end, his jawbones are sore, he’s really tired and his stomach seems to be full of that strong and thick precum but he knows he could do that for the rest of his life. 

 

 

Suddenly, Sergio begins to grunt louder and he shouts: “Fuck, I’m going to cum!” He’s never bust a nut in someone’s mouth but he’s looking forward to doing it. It’s one of his fantasies and he knows he’s going to make it come true. “Swallow my fucking jizz!” Álvaro would have done it with good grace even if Sergio hadn’t told anything. The firework begins. At least seven or eight massive spurts come out the policeman’s shaft and flood Álvaro’s mouth. He can hardly breathe or swallow them. The flavor of his partner’s cum is really weird. It’s the first time he tastes another man’s semen and it’s salty, gooey, thick and somewhat hard to ingest. He tries to swallow it all as the fluid keeps on running on his tongue and palate. He’s still gazing at Sergio, who grabs his hair stronger and thrusts his huge dick in his mouth. The young man can almost feel the tip of his partner’s rod on his uvula. He dreads that he might choke but he doesn’t remove Sergio’s sex from his mouth. When the police officer is done, Álvaro tries to suck up the remaining drops of sperm from his urethra. It comes as a surprise for Sergio and he whispers: “Fuck, you really like my semen, don’t you?” Álvaro can’t answer with that dick in his mouth but the response is obvious. Then, he licks Sergio’s glans again until it seems clean.

 

 

“Of, fuck, that was so intense…” – the policeman murmurs. Álvaro was clearly worshipping his shaft and such an attitude aroused him even more. As he’s trying to catch his breath and to calm down, he can see how Álvaro takes a bottle of water on the coffee table in his living room and drinks a lot. It reassures Sergio: he wanted to kiss him but didn’t want to taste his own semen. Jizz might be exciting and delicious for the young boy but not exactly for his partner. Sergio gets fully dressed again and slumps on the couch. He fastens his belt, looks at Álvaro and tells him: “Come here”. It’s not an order but the young man rushes to the couch and sits on Sergio’s lap. They kiss each other passionately for a long while. Álvaro strokes the policeman’s beard as Sergio fondles Álvaro’s thighs and ass.


	11. Can't get you out of my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can't get you out of my head", by Kylie Minogue : https://youtu.be/c18441Eh_WE

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Sergio stares at Álvaro’s ass as time goes by quickly. It’s not big but it’s clearly a nice and welcoming bubble-butt. He can see it through the young man’s jeans. He’d like to keep on stroking it but he has to go back to work. He can’t allow himself to be late. He has to be exemplary if he wants to get this promotion. He kisses Álvaro one last time and says:  
“I’m sorry, I have to go or my boss will bawl me out…  
\- I understand – Álvaro answers, somewhat disappointed. I’m really tired, anyway, I need to have some rest.  
\- That’s logical, you’ve been working hard… – Sergio adds with humor.  
\- Oh, you’ve noticed it too…”

 

 

Álvaro gets up and Sergio grabs his trench coat and puts it on. He holds his partner in his arms one last time, kisses him and asks:  
“Do you want me to do something in particular?  
\- No, I’m fine, thank you. I just need to sleep.  
\- Try to spare yourself, ok?  
\- Yes, of course.  
\- Have a nice afternoon, Álvaro.  
\- You too.”

 

 

All of a sudden, Sergio remembers Álvaro has to rest because he hit him hard two days ago. He feels guilty again and understands he’d better leave fast. He rushes outside and takes his mobile phone. He must tell Eva how the young man feels. He dials her number.  
“Hi, Sergio. Have you seen him?  
\- Yes, I’ve just left him.  
\- How is he?  
\- Better, I think. But he’s still exhausted. I tried to reason with him but he wants to stay at his apartment.  
\- Yes, I thought so. Sometimes, he can be so stubborn…  
\- Don’t blame him, Eva. He’s an adult, after all.  
\- I know, Sergio. I just worry about him.  
\- I do too. I have to leave you, Eva. I’m going back to work.  
\- Oh, yes, of course. Good luck.  
\- See ya.”

 

When he enters his office, Gareth winks at him and asks:  
“Do you feel better, dude?  
\- Yes, I’m quite relaxed, now.  
\- Cool.”

 

 

Of course, Gareth can’t guess a cute young man has just sucked his workmate off and that it was the best sex experience Sergio has ever had in his life. Plus Sergio is actually relaxed but he’s also concerned. He has just had sex with another man. He can’t hide it or ignore it anymore. He can’t pretend. Another man has sucked him off and it felt like heaven. He can only thinks about Álvaro and, each time, he remembers him with his huge dick in his mouths. He remembers how the young boy eagerly swallowed all his semen. That’s crazy, embarrassing and shameful. His crotch is on fire just thinking about those delicious lips and that skillful tongue. 

 

As he’s trying to forget it, Gareth says:  
“Hey, man, we received an email fifteen minutes ago.  
\- About what? – Sergio answers mechanically.  
\- We’ll have a medical checkup.  
\- Another one? I don’t understand, Gareth. The last medical examination was three months ago.  
\- Yes, I know, Sergio, but the memorandum says the department has changed the procedure. You should read it. They want to improve the employees’ health and to do further medical tests.  
\- Hum, ok, I’m going to check my mailbox.”

 

 

He turns his computer on and opens the message. He downloads the attached file and begins to read it. Gareth was right: they will have to take new medical tests but there are no other details, except a schedule of the examinations.

 

“What the fuck? It all begins the day after tomorrow! – Sergio exclaims.  
\- Yes, and you’re the first one… The captain was speaking about it with Cristiano a moment ago. It will take place at the laboratory down the street.  
\- Hum, ok.”

 

Sergio doesn’t mind doing those tests but he’s rather surprised.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, after all. And I’ll tell what it’s about when I come back, dude!  
\- I hope you’ll do, Sergio!”

 

As he’s meditating about these changes, Sergio feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He checks it and sees he’s just received a message from Álvaro. He suddenly remembers what he did just some minutes ago, when he was at his apartment. He reads the message: “Hello. I hope you’re fine. I’m still tired but I can’t get to sleep. Would you like to come by this evening after your working day? You don’t have to but that would be great.” He remembers it all. 

 

He let another man suck him off and that was actually arousing. He can’t deny it anymore, though: he’s had sex with another man. Of course, he didn’t get fucked but he let another man blow him. What’s more, not only did he enjoy it but he also thrust his horse dick in Álvaro’s mouth. He wasn’t passive, he wanted it to happen. His colleagues mustn’t learn of it. He’s aware it would be his death knell. Plus it could jeopardize his promotion. Police is still a conservative institution. There aren’t so many women who work as police officers and his workmates are male chauvinists, just like him. For them, a gay man can’t be a policeman. That’s completely contradictory. If they heard about what he did, they would hate him, despise him and he would lose all his credibility. They have to remain unaware. That’s the only solution. Plus he has to stop seeing Álvaro. On the other hand, however, he’s unable to quit thinking about him and, whenever he remembers his face, he sees him with his shaft in his mouth. He sees how his lips encircle his prick and he straightaway gets horny and hard. That’s almost like torture.

 

What should he do? He knows there’s no easy way out. He should act rationally and preserve his career. He knows such a relationship could imply terrible consequences for him if his colleagues and the police chief knew about it. Of course he could conceal it. How long could he live like that, though? Plus he’s not gay. He doesn’t consider himself gay. He’s a true man, not a faggot. Has he done something gay, however? Somebody’s sucked him off. And so? He penetrated Álvaro, not the other way around. That was just a rash moment, a distraction and nothing more. He needed to bust a nut and he did it. What’s wrong with that? He tries to reassure himself thinking that way, although he doesn’t manage to totally convince himself. He takes a look around him. Everything seems uncanny. He looks at Gareth, who’s filling a form. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and strives to forget about it.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sergio thinks he’s weak. His determination and his will seem to have vanished. Around four, he finally gave in and answered. He told Álvaro he would see him tonight at his apartment and they would eat together. For the first time in his life, the police officer feels he doesn’t control his own life and he has no leverage with his own decisions. He’s aware that, if he ever returns to the young boy’s apartment, he will do something he’ll regret later. But Álvaro has power on him. He doesn’t do anything to actually influence him but he attracts him like nobody else. Plus Sergio knows the young boy doesn’t feel good because of him. He wounded him and he has to face the consequences. That’s why, when his working day was done, he rushed to his own apartment, took some clothes, put them in his backpack and went to Álvaro’s. He even didn’t take some time to have a shower. He wanted to see him as soon as possible.

 

 

Right now, he’s arriving in front of his door. He knocks at it and sees how Álvaro opens it. The young man’s face immediately lights up and Sergio’s heart beats wildly. He feels a strange sensation in his stomach and his dick straightaway wakes up. “Come in”, Álvaro says with a smile on his face. Sergio puts his backpack next to Álvaro’s couch. When the door is locked, the young man jumps into the policeman’s arms. He’s a little embarrassed: he’s somewhat sweaty and doesn’t smell so good. He doesn’t want to bother Álvaro. He remembers that, every time he came back from work when he was Pilar, he wanted to hold her in his arms and to hug her but refused. She wanted him to have a shower before. That’s why Sergio fears Álvaro might hate that odor. Nonetheless, the young boy says: “Oh, you smell so good, I love your body odor.” Álvaro puts his hands on his partner’s shoulders and his head on Sergio’s torso. As to the police officer, he immediately begins to fondle the young man’s ass. He’s really hard now, of course, but he wants to cherish that moment of tenderness. He doesn’t care about his colleagues, his promotion or his captain: he just feels Álvaro’s face on his torso and hears his steady breathing.

 

“I haven’t had time to take a shower, I’m sorry – Sergio apologizes.  
\- I don’t care, I love that odor” – Álvaro repeats.

 

They stay there and hug each other for a while. Then, in silence, they begin to kiss passionately. Álvaro’s mouth is still warm and exciting. When he remembers that mouth swallowed his copious load, Sergio starts to get horny but he tries to keep cool. Suddenly, both of them can hear how Sergio’s stomach is rumbling. 

 

Álvaro laughs and says:  
“I’m sorry, I wanted to cook something for tonight but I’ve overslept… Do you mind me ordering some pizzas?  
\- Of course not” – Sergio plainly answers.

 

 

They kiss again. Álvaro loves the prickly feeling of Sergio’s beard on his face; that turns him on a lot. On the contrary, Sergio is mad about the softness of Álvaro’s cheeks and lips. The young man takes his phone and calls the pizza delivery guy. Then he yawns.  
“You really seem exhausted. Do you sleep well? – Sergio asks, worried.  
\- I am, indeed. I don’t know but I don’t manage to recover.”

 

Sergio begins to kiss gently Álvaro’s nose and whispers: “I’m so sorry…” They stay together, skin on skin, as the policeman hugs the young man. Sergio would like to cure Álvaro but he doesn’t know what to do. If there were a spell or a magic potion to help him, he would buy it, regardless of costs. He would give his life to heal him if the devil demanded it in exchange. He then begins to kiss his neck and leaves a hickey. He feels like he’s a teenager but, at that very moment, he doesn’t give a shit. Then, he closes his eyes and listens to Álvaro’s breathing. It’s soothing. There’s something feminine in the young man but he couldn’t guess what. As to Álvaro, he’s got the feeling he’s going to faint. He’s never been in another man’s arms like that and he’s on cloud nine. He doesn’t say a single word and tries to make the pleasure last. He feels secure when Sergio holds him like that. He can feel the touch of his strong torso and his powerful arms on him.

 

They finally break their embrace and decide to sit down on the somewhat sagging couch in the living room. They make out for a while and then, the young man tries to have some rest on Sergio’s shoulder. In no time at all, the police officer has become a kind of shelter for him. He’s like a rock, both physically and psychologically. He might have been violent with him but Álvaro feels he belongs here with him. This is weird and hard to explain but he couldn’t phrase it anyway, so he doesn’t take the trouble to do it. He just lives that intense moment and sniffs Sergio’s body odor as if it was a refined and sophisticated perfume. 

 

Suddenly, someone rings at the door.

“It must be the deliveryman” – Álvaro says as he stands up. He’s about to go to the door and to answer him on the intercom. The police officer, though, stands up, beckons him to sit down again and opens the building door. Then, he waits for the deliveryman to go upstairs, grabs the pizzas, puts the boxes on a small chest of drawers and takes his billfold. He pays for the food and gives the deliveryman a tip. He comes back to the living room with the pizzas and they start eating silently. 

 

 

They’re so close on the couch but neither of them dares touch the other one or say a word, just as if they felt awkward or regretted something. The young boy doesn’t know whether he should take the floor, joke or tell silly and mundane things to relax the atmosphere. This is the first time he has an actual date and it’s not exactly the romantic candlelight dinner he has envisioned but he’s ecstatic and he doesn’t want that sudden silence to ruin everything. Little does he know that Sergio is even more uncomfortable. He realizes he’s having a dinner with another man. He understands this is one of the gayest things in the world. Strangely enough, however, he doesn’t care about it. He’s acting just as if he were a robot. Some superior force is driving him and he can’t do anything about it. He’s fully aware that he’s just kissed and fondled another man; it was more than pleasant, though, and it upsets him so much he can’t find the words to say anything. They keep on eating and, when they’re done, Sergio takes the boxes, puts them in the kitchen and comes back.

 

 

“I’m sorry – Álvaro says. I’m really tired, I need to sleep. I… I just…” He’s stammering and the policeman sees he’s embarrassed. He comes closer, holds him and asks:

“What do you want to say?  
\- I’m sorry… This is really ridiculous – Álvaro replies as he blushes. I just wanted to know if you’d mind staying here with me tonight? I’m… I feel lonely and…  
\- Don’t say anything more. Of course I wouldn’t mind. I’ve taken some clothes with me. I just need a toothbrush…”

 

 

That last comment makes Álvaro laugh out loud. It’s really prosaic and he didn’t expect Sergio to say something like that.

“Hey, what’s so funny? I want my teeth to be clean! – Sergio protests.  
\- No, that’s just… You’re unpredictable, sometimes.  
\- You haven’t seen anything yet – the policeman answers with a wink.  
\- I guess so… Follow me.”

 

They head to the bathroom. Álvaro rummages through his drawers and eventually finds a new toothbrush. When both of them are done, Sergio says:  
“Maybe I should have a shower before we go to bed…  
\- Oh, no, please, not now… - Álvaro answers. I mean, I really love your body odor. Would you mind taking your shower tomorrow morning, just before you go to work? I want to fall asleep with you and I’m so exhausted I might get to sleep before you’re finished…”

 

 

Sergio’s amazed. He fully realizes Álvaro loves his whole body. Not just his face, his pecs, his abs or his arms but everything that comes from him. It’s weird because no woman has ever behaved like that with him; Pilar hated when he was dirty or sweating and didn’t allow him to go to bed with her if he hadn’t taken a shower before. That didn’t bother him that much but Álvaro’s behavior surprises and arouses him. There’s a kind of devotion and worship in the young boy that turns him on and pleases him.

 

“Ok, don’t worry, I won’t take a shower right now.  
\- Thank you, Sergio.”

They go to the bedroom and begin to undress. Sergio stares at Álvaro as he takes his clothes off. His body seems frail and pale but he has such an exciting ass. He has never seen it from this perspective and it’s the archetype of the bubble-butt. It’s not big but well-rounded and that’s exactly what he enjoys with his dates’ asses. He’s hard again and he’s afraid the young man could discover it. That’s ridiculous, of course, since Álvaro sucked him off some hours ago and saw his fully erect cock. But he feels shy right now, which is totally new for him. At least, he’s not sure he wants Álvaro to see him with a boner and just his undies on. That’s a strange reaction but he can’t help it. His boxer shorts are full of dried precum but, fortunately, they’re not too visible since his underwear is black. When both of them just have their undies on, the young man looks at the police officer. Sergio undoes the bed and lies down. He throws his pillow away and gazes at Álvaro. The young man is almost drooling when he discovers Sergio’s pecs and arms of the first time. They’re full of sexy tattoos and he loves his bulging biceps and his incredible pecs. The sheets and the blanket are concealing his abs but they must be incredible and impressive too. Álvaro needs to lick Sergio’s muscles right now but he doesn’t want to act like a desperate nymphomaniac. The policeman smiles and says:  
“Come on here with me. I want to hug you.”

 

Álvaro doesn’t need to be told twice.


End file.
